


In Distress

by alternatively_troublesome



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Connor is kinda Robin Hood, M/M, some BMC characters come after about 20 chapters, tbh mostly fluffy, this fandom already has too much angst we need some positivity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:30:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 33,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14593080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alternatively_troublesome/pseuds/alternatively_troublesome
Summary: Queen Heidi decides her son, Evan, needs to get out more. A thief, Connor, robs him on the way to a neighboring kingdom. He steals some gold but mostly he steals Evan's heart.AKA the Royalty/Robin Hood AU that no one asked for but the world will now have to deal with





	1. Chapter One

The carriage ride hadn’t been particularly unpleasant. Truthfully, with the scent of pine trees wafting through the air, nothing could be _that_ unpleasant. At least not to Evan.

No, the ride was nice. Quite nice, even. It was his destination that Evan couldn’t imagine being quite so nice.

His mother, the queen, had made it clear that Evan needed to get out of the castle for once in his life. And, no, she had clarified, the forest around the castle did not actually count. He needed experience, adventure, and maybe even love. And, no, she had added before he could even say anything, falling out of a tree does not count as the kind of experience she’s talking about.

So it was decided. He’d visit the neighboring Kleinman kingdom and spend time with Prince Jared. They’d been friends—well, friendly was maybe a better word—as kids, but hadn’t really spoken since they’d been able to ride a horse (okay, fine, since _Jared_ was able to ride a horse) (look, they just really didn’t like Evan and who was he to try and make a poor horse carry him around wherever he wanted and, no, this is _not_ a soft spot _at all_ ).

The carriage wobbled and jostled Evan from his thoughts. _It must have been a bump_ , he reasoned. _Nothing to worry about_. Still, he found himself wringing his hands and glancing out of the window, his nerves betraying him. _It was fine. Everything was fine. The carriage was—_

Well, it was stopping with enough force that Evan had to brace himself to remain in his seat.

“Sir, please, you must move,” he heard the driver stating, the waver of his voice betraying the confidence he must have been trying to muster. He cleared his throat and tried again. “This is a royal coach. Any harm that may come to us will return to you threefold.”

This was answered by a laugh, hearty and, well, _warm_. Evan felt the urge to peak out the window and catch a glimpse of the person attached to that laugh but thought better of it. This guy could be a bandit or murderer or something. Out to get him. Evan gulped.

“Look, I don’t want any trouble,” the man said and, boy, Evan found it difficult to keep being afraid of someone with a voice like that. “I just want some of the gold you’re definitely carrying with you. For the Kleinmans, I’m assuming?” Evan heard a thump, the telltale sound of boots landing firmly on the ground. The man must have dismounted.

“We—I—Wait!” Evan could hear footsteps moving closer. His eyes flicked to the small chest on the seat next to him. Why had he insisted upon traveling light again? And _why_ in god’s name would he allow just one person to come with him? He could feel his heart start pounding against his ribcage, breaths becoming shallower, faster. 

This was the moment that the mystery man chose to peak into the window. He had chocolate brown hair that cascaded down to his shoulder. It look so fluffy, so soft. Evan wanted to run his fingers through it. But, wow, those cheekbones? Sharp and smooth all at once, with cheeks that turned pink with the smirk that settled onto his lips. Wait. He was smiling. At Evan. This was too much. God, Evan should not have been this attracted to someone trying to rob him.

“Well, hello, handsome,” the man purred, leaning closer and settling his arms onto the mouth of the window. Before Evan could respond (or even process, really), he could hear the driver clamber over. Without looking away, the mystery man unsheathed a sword and held it towards the driver. “I’m taking what I want. There’s no stopping me.”

Okay. That _definitely_ should _not_ turn Evan on.

“Okay, prince.” The man smiled, something that should have seemed predatory, but seemed altogether pleasant. “I’m going to need you to fill this bag up with some of that gold you’ve got here for that pest of a prince, Jared.” He produced a brown sack and tossed it into Evan’s lap. For his part, the prince could only nod and do as he was told. For a long moment, the only sound was of coin dragging against fabric, piling at the bottom. “Please tell me you’re not off to marry that idiot,” the man said suddenly, his voice a whisper. Evan paused and looked at him. He was still smiling, but there was something sadder behind it.

Evan opened his mouth and searched for words, but found that he couldn’t speak. He sighed, frustrated at himself, and shook his head. The man’s smile seemed to widen, but that couldn’t be. It must have been a trick of the light. Evan returned to filling the sack. It didn’t take long before the gold was gone. He made to reach into the chest across from him, the large one with his own belongings, but a hand curled around his wrist, gentle but firm. He looked back at the man with confusion.

“I don’t need anything from you. You’re—You’ve done nothing wrong. The Kleinmans must pay, but not you.” He took the bag from Evan’s hand and hoisted it over his shoulder. “I’ll be seeing you, prince,” he smiled before disappearing again, heading back towards where his horse msut have been waiting. Evan heard some rustling before the man must have mounted again. The driver rushed back towards his window, concern clouding his expression.

“My prince, are you okay? Should I go after him?”

“I-I’m f-fine,” Evan managed, his eyes looking past the driver, waiting for some indication of where the man was going. “L-let him g-go.” The driver looked confused, briefly angry, then resigned before he returned to the front of the carriage. Evan was about to give up hope that he might see the man again—something that should have been a relief but just left him feeling let down—when the echo of hooves galloping had him peering out his window just in time to see the man pass.

“I’m Connor,” the man shouted, flashing one last toothy smile before disappearing.

All Evan could do was wave and watch him leave. Even as the carriage began moving again, he watched the road as far as it would go. It wasn’t until the familiar bump of cobblestones beneath the carriage began, heralding his entrance into the castle grounds, that Evan looked forward, towards what would be his home for the next few months. Still, even when they came to a stop, the royal family standing before the castle with dejected smiles, he couldn’t stop turning the name around in his mind.

 _Connor, Connor, Connor_ , he repeated, as though it were a mantra or a prayer.

Boy. He was in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY!! So you made it through the fic!! How exciting!!
> 
> Are you a fan?? I hope so!! If you are, please like, comment, kudos, ALL THAT FUN STUFF!!
> 
> I'm still undecided about adding more chapters, so it'll be dependent upon your support!!! If you guys are like "nope, I'm done, no more," then WISH GRANTED. But if you want more, then SHOW SOME SUPPORT AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO ADD MORE!! 
> 
> OK, THANKS, COMMENT KUDOS SHARE, LOVE YA!!!


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME ABOARD, EVERYONE!!! The support that everyone has showed for this fic in like 24 hours has just FLOORED me. I posted the first chapter thinking that maybe like one or two people would read it, but HERE WE ARE and I am so shocked and happy and oF COURSE I'M GOING TO WRITE MORE NOW!!!
> 
> So, without further ado, chapter 2!!!

“You got robbed?!” There was only a split second for Evan to think that maybe that was concern from Prince Jared before—“God, he is such an asshole.”

“Jared,” the woman beside him, the queen and his mother, chided. “That is no way to speak in front of a guest.” Jared spared a glance at Evan before huffing out a cold laugh and shaking his head. 

“Evan’s cool with it, mom,” he answered. “Isn’t that right, Evan?” His voice and eyes were laced with mischief and mayhem. Evan had the feeling this would be a long few months. He nodded, sure that speaking or disagreeing would just make things worse.

It had been less than two minutes and he already wanted to turn tail and go home. Jared’s mother seemed to sense this fear and, mercifully, stepped in front of Jared to address Evan herself.

“My prince, it is an honor to have you as a guest in our palace. As much as we _all_ ”—she sent a glare back at her son before looking back with a kind smile—“would love to speak with you in depth, you must be tired from your travels here, especially as stressful as they must have been.” Evan didn’t dare to disagree, or say that, where he should have felt such deep anxiety, he was only sad to have been detained by Connor for so short of a time. “I shall have our most trusted valet tend to you. We should look forward to seeing you at dinner.”

With that, a tall man (who definitely _did not_ terrify Evan, nope, not at all) stepped forward and began walking towards the entryway. Evan spared a glance at the family—the queen smiling, the king looking as though he’d rather be anywhere but here, and Jared, a smirk on his lips that told Evan that his troubles were not at all behind him—before following, letting the valet stay a few steps ahead.

“Psst!”

Evan whipped around, startled, to find a smiling woman behind him. He opened and shut his mouth a few times, glancing back towards the valet—who, oh God, was still waking and now Evan would be in such trouble—and then to the woman again. She laughed, a light thing, nothing like what had come from Jared outside.

“I heard you got robbed,” she said, and, boy, what a starting line. Looked like he would never hear the end of this one. He was about to turn away (he really needed to catch up to that valet) when she leaned closer, her smile fading and her face filling with wonder. “Who was he? Was it the Dark Rider?”

Evan hadn’t heard any names like that, but Connor’s appearance was immediately called to mind. His dark hair, dark eyes, dark clothes, even the horse he rode was a velvety black. It all followed.   

“Oh—I-I—Well—How—” Evan couldn’t help the string of stuttering confusion that spilled from his mouth. Someone knew. _She_ knew. “Y-y-you know him?” Her lips pulled into a confused smile.

“You didn’t?” she asked, incredulous. “I thought _everyone_ knew about him. I mean—”

“ALANA!” Jared’s voice was crystal clear, echoing down the hallway from some hidden position. The girl let out a frustrated noise and looked behind her, then back to Evan.

“We’ll talk later.” Her smile went wide again. “Gosh, someone who’s met the Dark Rider. Yeah, we’ll definitely talk later,” she nodded, then turned and ran off before Evan could even _begin_ to decipher what in the world that could mean. Was Connor some kind of legend? Evan supposed that that made sense—he’d seen the man just once and, well, he could barely think of anything else. But, what was the gold for? Why was he—

“My prince,” came the rumble of the valet’s voice from the end of the hall and Evan definitely jumped this time. He could have sworn that the valet had a hint of a smirk on his face for just a second before it was gone. “This way. Please do avoid getting lost along the way.” With that he turned and walked off. Evan followed, timid and feeling so small in such a big castle, so trapped all of a sudden.

 

~~~

 

Dinner, it turned out, was more akin to a party. A ball, if you wanted to use language that maybe set Evan’s nerves even more on edge than they already were.

After letting him sleep for what felt too short to be even an hour and running a bath for him, the valet—it turned out his name was Wendall, which was far too jolly sounding for a guy so creepy—had helped dress him, which mostly meant that he critically looked over the clothes that Evan had brought with him, picked out the nicest things he had, and gave Evan a look that said _Don’t make me put these on you_ _myself_. A few minutes later, Evan found himself pulling at the hem of his light blue doublet, staring at the door do the ballroom.

 _It’ll be fine_ , he told himself. _You’re going to have a good time._

As if in response, he forced back the urge to puke into the nearest vase. He couldn’t do this. Nope, it was too much, too fast, too intense. He should just go back to his room and sleep it off and—

“I shall get the door for you, your highness,” Wendall muttered as he stepped around him and opened the door. He wanted to protest, or at least think about protesting, but his mind wiped clear at the scene before him.

The hall was ornate, to put it mildly. He had known that Jared’s kingdom was more wealthy than his own, but he hadn’t realized by how much. Golden pillars bracketed the wide floor, which was flooded with courtiers dressed in the most fashionable attire that Evan had ever seen. They also wore masks. Evan didn’t have a mask. He would never fit in. This was too much, this was—

On cue, Wendall produced a blue mask that nearly matched the color of his clothes. Evan could have hugged him if he weren’t so terrifying.

 “T-thank you,” Evan managed, gingerly taking the mask and holding it up to his face. It stopped just below his eyes, curving upward in the middle rest on his nose. Wendall tied the strings of it behind him and then he was walking away and Evan was alone and he had to go _in there_ and he couldn’t do this, he just—

“Your highness, might you escort me inside?” He recognized that voice. Sure enough, the woman from that morning, Alana, was standing beside him, a knowing smile on her lips and a brilliant purple mask covering half of her face.

“S-S-Sure.” He held his arm out and she curled hers around it. Evan willed his legs to remain steady as they stepped forward and began down the steps.

“I still can’t believe you met the Dark Rider,” she mused, her voice wistful.

“M-Me neither,” Evan admitted. Alana looked at him for a moment before laughing. 

“You don’t even know who he is!” she practically yelled. Realizing how loud her exclamation had been, she leaned closer and lowered her voice. “He’s amazing. He’s been causing trouble for Jared for _months_. Honestly, anyone who can get Jared so angry is good in my book.” Evan let out a surprised laugh as they reached the bottom of the steps. She grinned wider and nodded. “I know I’m in court with him, but his petulance still shocks me sometimes.”

“Are you talking about me?” Jared cut in, sliding out of the crowd and in front of them. His smile was wide and his cheeks were pink. “Look, Alana may say some mean things about me, but I’ll let you in on a little secret.” He leaned forward shakily and loudly whispered in Evan’s ear. “She’s totally in love with me.”

“First of all, hard no on that,” Alana declared, disconnecting her arm from Evan’s in favor of steadying Jared. “Second of all, you’re drunk.

“No, I’m not,” he slurred, completely undermining his own words.

“This party has only been going on for like an hour Jared, how are you already so far gone?” she demanded, holding him upright. She let go and he tilted forward again, leaning towards Evan, who could only stare, his limbs conveniently not responding.

“Whoa there,” a voice came from behind Jared, a pair of hands following and yanking him back to stand straight again. Something about the figure, still obscured as he manhandled Jared, was all too familiar. When the man, finally steadying Jared enough that he could stand on his own again, came around to stand in front of Evan, the prince felt as though someone had knocked the air out of him. 

His hair had been pulled into a bun and his eyes were obscured by the burgundy mask he wore, but Evan had spent hours thinking and dreaming about those features. He knew it instantly.

It was Connor.

“Oh,” the man in question gave, seemingly just as surprised as Evan. He recovered almost instantly, though, and let a sweet smile curl onto his lips. “I was not aware that we were in the presence of a royalty tonight.” He made a quick bow.

“Excuse me,” Jared scoffed, and elbow connecting with Connor’s stomach. Connor spared a glare before returning his gaze to Evan.

“I’m sorry, allow me to clarify. I was not aware that we were in the presence of royalty with manners”—there was a quick pause and something glinted in Connor’s eyes—“and charm.”

And Evan—well, Evan needed to catch his breath because this a lot. His brain was overloading on the information that was before him, his heart pumping blood at a breakneck pace. He was going to vomit or pass out or just  _die_ or—

“Oh yeah, introductions,” Jared mumbled. He extended a hand to point at the parties in question. “Prince Evan, meet Sir Connor. Sir Connor, meet Prince Evan. Connor’s an asshole and Evan’s a loser.” He blinked and looked around. “I’m gonna go find another drink,” he declared, already plodding away, graceful as a newborn deer.

“I'd better follow him,” Alana murmured, leaving the conversation with an apologetic glance at both of them.

Which left Connor and Evan alone. Evan avoided Connor’s eyes in favor of studying the intricate patterns of the floor, even as he felt Connor’s gaze fixed on him. The silence was strangling, words at the back of Evan’s mind refusing to form. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Connor finally whispered, his voice barely audible over the clamor of the ballroom. “It wasn’t personal, really. Jared doesn’t know it’s me, but, well, someone has to teach him humility.” Evan looked up then, a mixture of sadness and anger bubbling up in his stomach. That was it? Teaching Jared a lesson? Nothing else?

“O-o-oh. I s-see.” Evan’s voice was quiet. He looked down again.

“Your highness, it’s—you misunderstand me,” he stammered, something tense in his voice that told Evan that Connor _needed_ him to understand.

Evan looked up again, a silent question on the furrowed brows behind his mask. Connor’s lips quirked upward and he opened his mouth to explain, only for the music to pick up in the corner of the ballroom, silencing him as couples laughed and began pairing off to dance. He frowned, glanced furtively at the dancefloor before stepping closer to Evan.

“I promise, there’s a reason,” he whispered, close enough for Evan to feel warm breath against his ear, “and I’ll explain later. Just… please don’t tell anyone.” The vulnerability in his voice made Evan’s heart ache. Suddenly, Connor was pulling away, standing back at the respectable distance, too, too far for Evan, but he was grinning, wide. “For now, though, would you honor me with a dance?”

Connor’s hand was outstretched, a delicate invitation. This couldn’t be real. This was too insane, too crazy, too amazing to be happening to _Evan_. He should have been hyperventilating, right and truly freaking out, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be scared, not when those eyes were on him, not when that smile was for him.

He took Connor’s hand and allowed himself to be led further into the crowd he had once dreaded joining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGAIN, THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT!!! I WOULD LOVE AND APPRECIATE ALL CONTINUED SUPPORT, SO KUDOS, COMMENT, BOOKMARK, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE, ALL THAT JAZZ, AND I WILL BE A VERY HAPPY CAMPER <3


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dance to last for forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A CHAPTER A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY, RIGHT????
> 
> WELL as you may or may not have seen in the comments, my last final was yesterday so now I have a good amount of time to write!!!! (well, between work and before I have travel for my thesis work in June hahaha, but still.) Yay!! V exciting!!
> 
> I just want to reiterate that your ongoing support has been such a gift to me and I'm so thankful for it. I am still SO shocked at how much support this fic has received <3 
> 
> BEFORE WE GET TO THE CHAPTER, I wanted to let y'all know that you can follow me on Tumblr!! my personal blog (alternativelytroublesome.tumblr.com) has a whole lot of random stuff, but if you want to go to my (very new) fan fiction blog home, head to barelyfanfictional.tumblr.com!! here you'll be able to find updates on the fic, some info about me, and you can ask questions (fic related or about me!)! I'll also post playlists, supplemental texts, and other fun stuff like that <3 I'll also get my patreon and ko-fi info up at some point if you're feeling extra generous. anywho!! feel free to follow (we might even do some fun things if we reach a certain amount of followers *waggles eyebrows*)
> 
> OK GO AHEAD AND READ THE CHAPTER NOW

Retrospectively, Evan realized that maybe he should have known that it was too good to be true.

And it was, just so good. Connor had led them to a corner of the ballroom, away from the cluster of crowd in the middle, all heat and chatter and _people_ , to a quieter spot where they could spin and not have to worry about bumping into someone. The tune was upbeat and Connor pulled Evan close, so close that Evan almost forgot an important detail.

“I-I, uhm, d-don’t know h-how to dance,” he mumbled, half-hoping Connor wouldn’t hear him at all. He felt Connor’s hand slip from his and, well, here it was. All too predictable, how could Evan _not_ have seen it coming? He was a loser, just like Jared had said, and now it was time for the inevitable rejection. He braced himself, only to feel the slide of a hands against his waist. He looked up to find a gentle smile. 

“I’ll teach you,” Connor murmured, “one day.” It was a promise that weighed at Evan’s heart, the promise of something more than this whirlwind of a day. “For tonight, we’ll stick to something simple.” He let one hand leave Evan’s waist to guide one of the prince’s hands to his left shoulder. Evan felt like he would probably pass out, in which case he would never forgive the universe because, rude. Instead, he placed his other hand on Connor’s right shoulder.

For a moment, they just stood there motionless, Evan staring at where his hands were on Connor—this was not a drill, his hands were on Connor and Connor had put them there and this was actually happening—while Connor waited patiently, the same quirk of lips still there. Finally, Evan looked up, sure that he was blushing way too much than what was appropriate for the situation, to find that Connor’s cheeks were pink too. A voice in Evan’s head wanted to brush it off as the heat in the room or perhaps even secondhand embarrassment for Evan, but he wanted to savor this. He let a wary smile sneak onto his lips. 

“What now?” he asked.

“Now,” Connor grinned wider, “we move.” Before Evan’s nerves could get the memo, Connor swayed to the left, then to the right, his hands a light pressure against Evan’s waist, guiding him. Without thinking, Evan followed, his movements small and apprehensive at first. “Just do what I do,” Connor assured, and how could Evan disagree with that?

 _Well, he did rob you_ , a voice in his head reminded him, but Evan pushed the thought back and did his best to remain in the here and now, the place where a handsome robber/knight was dancing with him and smiling at him and talking about spending more time with him after this and— 

Yeah, Evan should have known. Too good to be true.

“THERE’S BEEN AN ATTACK,” a voice shouted—a messenger, out of breath and standing red-faced at the top of the staircase. Evan’s heartrate ratcheted higher and he felt Connor tense, both of their heads turned toward the man. “ON THE EDGE OF THE KINGDOM, NEAR THE MURPHY’S LANDS.”

“Oh no,” Connor whispered. He turned to Evan, a mixture of anger and fear in his eyes. “I have to go to them.”

The music had stopped at this point, nervous conversation filling the silence. Evan watched looked around the room and watched as the couples parted, some people filing towards the staircase, ready to fight, and others left where they had been so happy just moments ago, afraid and heartbroken. There was no knowing how long it would be before they would return to each other, or if they ever would. He wished he had never come to this party.

“Your highness, I’m—I’m sorry,” Connor was saying, his hands dropping from where they sat on Evan’s waist. Evan looked back and let his arms fall to his sides. Even under his mask, it was easy to see how torn Connor was.

“I-I-I understand,” Evan said. He tried not to sound so down about it because he _did_ understand. It was Connor’s responsibility and honor and— 

“They’re my family.” Connor’s voice was a whisper above the chaos and, oh, no, Evan really couldn’t put up with _both_ of them being heartbroken.

“Write me,” Evan found himself saying, the words tumbling out. Connor looked briefly confused. “I-I’ll be here. For a while. And, uh, y-you’ll be there. For… uhm…” It really was a wonder that his speech tutors had never lasted more than a few months. He squeezed his eyes shut, sucked in a breath, and gathered his words up again. “ _Wecanwriteeachotherwhileyou’regone_.” When he opened his eyes, the fight was still in Connor’s eyes, but a small smirk was there too.

“I only half understand what you just said,” he laughed, reaching behind his head and untying his mask, “but yes.” He put the burgundy mask in Evan’s hand before reaching behind him to untie the blue mask. “I’ll write you.” Connor let his eyes drop to where the mask was in his hands before looking back to Evan. “And I’ll hold onto this,” he said, his smirk widening, “for safe keeping.”

“Okay!” Evan exclaimed, before he could think better of it. He coughed and gave a nervous smile. “Uhm, good luck? Is that—I don’t know what you tell someone who’s, uh, y’know.”

“Going into battle, probably?” Connor laughed. “Good luck works.” His expression softened for a moment, and Evan could feel the rest of the room melt away. This is what he wanted, more than anything he had ever wanted. This. Only this. For forever.

“Good luck, then,” he said, willing the moment to never end, but knowing it had to. Connor seemed to realize the same thing.

“Your highness,” he murmured. He gave a sad smile, a bow, and then he was walking away. Evan watched him leave, taking the stairs two at a time. Connor turned back and gave one last smile; Evan waved back, and then Connor was gone and Evan felt so small in such a big castle.

It was fine, he’d be fine. How long could a battle take anyway?  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY BOIS. ok so I know I said I was avoiding angst AND I MOSTLY AM I PROMISE, BUT TENSION IS LIKE IMPORTANT FOR STORYTELLING OR WHATEVER SO I'M SPRINKLING SOME OF THAT IN AND THEN EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPY AND IT WILL BE GREAT I PROMISE
> 
> ok ok ok so feel free to follow barelyfanfictional.tumblr.com for updates and fun stuff and also KUDOS, COMMENT, BOOKMARK, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE, AND KEEP UP THE FANTASTIC AMOUNTS OF SUPPORT THAT YOU HAVE SHOWERED UPON ME <3


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SINCERELY ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL it's time for the chapters that riff off of my fav song from the musical and I am EXCITED to hear what you think and to keep on writing!!!
> 
> don't forget to follow my Tumblr (barelyfanfictional) for updates and to ask questions or whatever. also!! thanks again so much for the continued support; it gives me so much more motivation to write and put chapters out <3 ALSO, we're at 99 kudos omg SEND TO A FRIEND AND GET US TO 100
> 
> OK, GO READ!!!

“So, looks like we’ll be fighting for, like, fifty _thousand_ years,” Jared groaned, his head down on the table and his voice muffled. Evan’s eyes widened and his breathing stopped for a second, even though he _knew_ that Jared was exaggerating. Still, he didn’t know by how much. “I’m too hungover for this.”

To be fair, Evan was sure that he wanted to be at the table even less than Jared did. He’d been invited to the council meeting by the queen, who said it would be a great opportunity to understand wartime procedures. Evan knew it would also be a good time for them to inquire about any aid his kingdom could give. Truthfully, the Kleinman’s kingdom was at least triple the size of his own. They may have had a lot of land, but the Hansen kingdom’s proudest inhabitants were probably the immense forests, and Evan was _very_ protective of those.

“C’mon, Jared,” Alana sighed, nudging the prince. “We need to plan.” She looked around the room and frowned at the empty seats circling table. It was only the three of them. “Speaking of, where is everyone?”

“Mom and dad thought it would be best if I start handling kingdom business so I can train to be king or whatever,” Jared mumbled, finally lifting his head and grabbing at the water glass across from him. “I told all of _their_ council members that we were meeting in a different spot. And don’t give me that face.” He didn’t even have to look over to see Alana’s frustration or the angry red her face was turning. “ _When_ have they _ever_ had a good idea?” Alana opened her mouth, but Jared shook his head even as he was gulping water down. “Ok, when have they had a good idea that’s been _better_ than one of _yours_?” Alana closed her mouth and looked around the room, as if the answer was plastered on the wall somewhere. “Never,” Jared supplied before groaning again. “Remind me why the sun exists.”

“ _Assuming_ that I’m enough to take the place of the entire council,” Alana began, ignoring Jared’s comment, “where would we even start?”

“Beats me,” Jared provided, helpful as ever as he refilled his glass. “Got any ideas, Evan?” 

“M-maybe…” Evan started, but had no idea where to go next. His kingdom hadn’t been in a war in at least a century. Calling what they had a military force was far too generous: it was mostly farmers, none of whom had even been trained. “I-I don’t know,” he finally admitted.

“Well, we need people to fight. Soldiers.” Alana pursed her lips and considered. “Our forces need rallying. We’ve put a call out, but it’ll take time for anyone to respond.” She frowned. “And there is the risk that they would rather keep their forces at home, consolidate in preparation to defend.” 

“So we need help,” Jared replied, his gaze flicking to Evan. “Could we call upon you for aid?” There was something all too sober in Jared’s gaze suddenly, something sharp that told Evan to consider his response carefully. He reminded himself that they weren’t kids playing war in the tall grass anymore. 

“W-well….” he murmured, his mind reeling. If he said yes, he would be signing his people up for a fight that they had no part in, no training for. But if he said no, he risked losing Jared as an ally and, worse, he would leave Connor and his homeland on their own. “I-I-I—”

“Evan!” Jared’s voice was suddenly a shout, his hand slamming down on the table enough to make both Evan and Alana jump. The look in his eyes wasn’t anger, though; it was fear. “Can you help or not?”

“I don’t know!” Evan found himself shouting back. His eyes widened. He’d surprised himself with his own voice. He frowned and looked down. “I-I don’t k-know. I h-have to ask m-my—the qu-queen.”

“We understand,” Alana said quickly, reaching a hand across the table and giving him a sympathetic smile as a peace offering. “Isn’t that right, Jared?” Jared frowned, but gave a curt nod. “How about we let you go so that you can write the queen about this?”

“O-Okay,” Evan muttered, already standing and heading out the door. As soon as he rounded the corner, he stopped, leaned against the wall, and let out a sigh of relief. This was going to be harder than he had anticipated.

 

~~~ 

_Your Highness, Prince Evan Hansen,_

_I feel as though we haven’t spoken in months, even though I write this just days after we first spoke, first danced, first parted. Everything here has been understandably hectic, but every moment I wish I were speaking to you. Even though I am a knight, and going into battle is my purpose, it feels as though every day is just another fight. It has been frustrating, with the enemy surprising us at every turn. Few have been hurt, thankfully, but we are endlessly frustrated. At least we’re home, though. I still remember running through these woods, the smell of dirt and grass and nature enveloping me. It’s a warmth that I have always loved. I know that we have only just met, but I feel in my heart that you would love being out here—when there isn’t a war being fought, that is—with me._

_If I may be honest here—more honest than I have any right to be—I must say that the thought of returning to the castle, to speak more with you about life and other stuff, keeps me going through the day. I’m sure it’s an odd thing to hear—it’s odd for me to even say—but I fight with you in mind. The sooner we win, the sooner I’ll be back._

_Sincerely,_

_Me_

 

 

Evan held the letter in his hands, his eyes skimming over it again and again, piecing the words together in his mind. Connor had thought of him. Connor was still thinking of him. Connor loved the forest and somehow knew that Evan would too. Connor was literally fighting for him.

He nearly spilled the pot of ink on his desk in his excitement to respond. What would he even say? How could he even top what Connor had sent?

 _Sir Connor Murphy,_ Evan wrote, then stopped. How to begin? He could say—

“Hey, Evan,” a voice chimed and, yeah, Evan almost knocked the ink over again. He turned to find Jared leaning against the doorframe. “Jeez, don’t get your undergarments in a twist. I just wanted to apolo—Who’re you writing to?”

“Wha--?” Evan asked, but it was too late. Jared strode over and picked the sheet of paper up before Evan could stop him. 

“’Sir Connor Murphy’?” Jared read, confusion on his face until, suddenly, a mischief smirk spread onto his lips. “Are you writing _love letters_ to my worst knight?”

“Uh—”

“You are!” Jared exclaimed, too excited for Evan’s taste. “Oh, this is gold. Absolute gold!” He slammed the paper back down on Evan’s desk. “Okay, let’s do this." 

“D-do what?” Evan asked, sure that he didn’t want to know the answer.

“Write the letter!” Jared hauled a chair over so that he could sit beside Evan. “C’mon, you know you need my help.”

“I-I—”

“Okay! Let’s start! First things first, this needs to go.” Jared took the paper and crumpled it.

“Hey!” Evan shouted, but Jared was already pulling a new sheet out and shushing him.

“We don’t address _lovers_ by their titles, Evan,” Jared instructed. “Just say, ‘Dear Connor Murphy’, okay?”

“Uhm, o-okay,” Evan conceded, writing what Jared said. It did sound better. Less formal, more—

“Oh yeah, much more _intimate_.” The way he said it made Evan feel dirty. “Okay, okay, write what I say.” Evan readied himself. “We’ve been way too out of touch! Things here have been crazy, and it sucks that we don’t talk that much. But, I should tell you that I think of you each night. I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight." 

“Hey!”

“Hey what?” Jared looked down and scoffed. “Why aren’t you writing this down!? All I’m doing is telling the truth, your pickiness.”

“Just—I’ll do it,” Evan decided and set to work writing, trying to ignore Jared’s gaze over his shoulder. 

“’Life without you has been _hard_?’” Jared laughed. “No, don’t cross that out and put ‘bad’!” Evan wrote ‘rough’ instead. “Kinky!”

“Would you s-stop!” Evan shouted. Jared scoot back, his hands up as though he had done nothing wrong.

“Fine. Fine!” He made his way for the door but turned back. “Good luck, lover boy!” Before Evan could groan, Jared was cackling down the hallway. 

Finally—FINALLY—Evan went back to the letter and did his best to focus. He wanted Connor to feel just as warm and blissful as he had felt upon receiving the letter. He looked out the window at the expanse of trees before him. A smile settled onto his lips. He went to work writing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, WHAT DID YOU THINK!?!? KUDOS, COMMENT, BOOKMARK, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!!! <3


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SINCERELY, ME - PART THE SECOND
> 
> (Bonus! Some Connor POV!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY???? YOU BETCHA!!!!!!
> 
> y'all, I am such trash and I legit sat down and was going to do something productive but then my brain was like "more Evan Hansen" and what else could I do but say "yup" and get to work!!!! 
> 
> also important to note!!! your feedback and continued support is such a motivator for me. to know that you are enjoying--even loving!--this fic makes me feel warm and happy and makes me want to write more to make you, in turn, feel warm and happy. SO LET'S ALL FEEL WARM AND HAPPY, OK?!?!? also, A+ WORK, WE ARE NOW AT 110 KUDOS WHICH IS CRAZY CONSIDERING THAT IT WAS 99 LIKE A FEW HOURS AGO AND THAT 11 MORE PEOPLE HAVE READ THIS AND LEFT KUDOS AND OH MY GOD LIKE WOWOWOWOWOW
> 
> OK OK OK WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, ENJOY CHAPTER 5

Connor was exhausted, to say the very least. He was covered in sweat and dirt and probably some blood that (hopefully) was not his and his hands were calloused and blistered from gripping his sword too tight and he really, _really_ just wanted to sleep.

That is, until he saw a letter situated on the pillow of his “bed” (a glorified cot), his name in swooping cursive.

He may have accidentally tripped over himself in his excitement to open it, but no one was there to witness it (no one that would have their tongue the next morning) (just kidding) (not really), so it didn’t actually count.

 

_Dear Connor Murphy,_

_You’re not at all out of line in saying any of what you said. It feels silly to say, but I miss you, too. I hope this letter gets to you quickly, and that you’re not too busy to reply quickly (though I would understand if you were, what with the war and all!)._

_Life without you in the castle has been rough. Jared has been bothersome, to say the least. He spends his days reminding me that my kingdom has yet to send aid. The only reason I haven’t is because my mother, the queen, has decided that it would be best to put out the call, but leave it optional—which I agree with. It is difficult. I want to help you in any way that I can, but I can’t force my people to fight, and I don’t know how to convince them to do it of their own free will. I can’t be mad at Jared, though. It’s his kingdom, his people, and he’s doing his best to protect them, just as I am with my kingdom. Still, I feel useless sitting here behind my desk, unable to do anything but listen to Jared day in and day out._

_I’ve been thinking, though, about your end of this battle. This is the land you grew up in, where you played as a child. If you know it best, you could use it to your advantage. Instead of using the tried and true methods, use the methods you would have used playing war as a kid. Maybe that could give you the upper hand here. It’s your land; you have more to lose than they do. Maybe you could use that._

_Speaking of the woods, I feel as though you know too much about me without my saying; I love trees. So much. Actually, it’s sort of stupid, but a few months ago, I was climbing trees in my kingdom and fell off out of one and hurt my arm. It’s better now, my arm, but still aches sometimes. The tree is okay, though, so that’s what really matters. I can’t wait until you get back so that we can explore the forests here. I get the feeling that you know them better than most, what with how we met._

_Even if I can’t do much here, know that I’m thinking of you all the time, wishing you luck and doing what little I can do help from afar. I’m proud of you and what you’re doing for your family. Just keep pushing through. You’ll win this, just wait and see. When you do, I’ll still be here._

_Sincerely,_

_Me_

 

Connor felt his heart flutter in his chest. His eyes flicked to where the blue mask sat in the center of his makeshift desk, a reminder of where (and to whom) he was fighting to return. Evan was thinking of him and trying to help him and was waiting for him to return. For _him_. He couldn’t help but laugh. Considering how they had met, the odds of them ending up _here_ , wherever that really was, had to be so slim. And yet, Connor was lucky enough to have a prince, _this_ prince—to have Evan writing to him.

He sat on the edge of his bed and read the letter again, and again, and again, until he had practically memorized every word. He felt ridiculous, like some preteen with the first guy to even glance his way. He felt _happy_ , so ridiculously happy that he couldn’t even fight it. Finally, overwhelmed and excited, he settled in front of his desk, ready to respond as quickly as he could, just like Evan wanted.

God, if he could just tell him everything he saw with Evan, now and in the future… well, he would probably sound insane and stupid, but he still wanted to. Still, they were a million worlds apart now, and he didn’t even know where to start.

He leaned back and sighed. He wanted so badly to say it all, but he thought better of it. _Better to start small, slow_ , he told himself. It hit him, then. He knew exactly what to say.

 

~~~

 

Evan wanted to say that he spent his days doing something productive, like contributing to the war effort, but it would be a lie. Physically, he walked the grounds and talked to Jared or Alana and avoided Wendall and basically anything else he could think to do, trying desperately to keep his mind occupied. Mentally, he was always waiting for the next letter. Anytime he heard the sound of hooves entering the castle, he would hurry to the nearest window to see if they had a message (or, secretly, if Connor had returned).

So, it was no surprise to anyone that, when he found a letter sitting primly on his desk with a handwriting he would recognize anywhere, Evan actually started hyperventilating. A good hyperventilating (if such a thing even existed), but still, hyperventilating nonetheless.

 

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_I feel like when I sit down to write you, it takes me so long to figure out where to start. I just have so much to say! I swear, you won’t be able to get me shut up when we actually get to talk more in person._

_Your advice on fighting this battle is phenomenal. Are you sure you’re not secretly the leader of a war-mongering kingdom? We’ve started using more stealth tactics, getting the jump on the enemy, and it’s all thanks to you. We’ll turn it around, wait and see. As for your side of it, I appreciate that you’re trying your best. Even if you can’t send aid, your support and your letters are enough to give me the energy to fight and win this whole thing on my own._

_With all the time you’ve freed up for me (thanks to your advice), I’ve been able to appreciate these trees so much more! In fact, I’ve got a few sketches here for you. It’s not like the real thing, but I want you to see what I’m seeing here. It’s great and unfortunate that your love of trees is either equal to or greater than mine. And here I thought I could impress you with my forest expertise! Although I suppose I can still teach you how to properly climb a tree and get down without hurting yourself. None of that when we inevitably go on some expeditions in the woods. There are some great areas of the forest around the castle—I’m sure you’ll love them and that you’re capable of navigating them on your own, but I’d be honored and lucky to be the one to show them to you._

_I hope It’s okay to say this: I can’t get your smile out of my head. One day—only one day!—together and I feel as though my life would be incomplete without your presence. I’ve said it already, but I must say it again: I miss you. I am reminded, though, of a poem that I read some time ago. It’s beautiful and perfect, and I can’t think of a better way to end than with this:_

_“We will, it will—the rest won’t be history._

_How would you like to go for a walk with me?”_

_Sincerely,_

_Me_

Evan fell back onto his bed, the letter clutched to his chest. Every word was a spark that lit his heart ablaze with a joy that he had never known before. The poem repeated in his head, the simplicity of it beautiful and the promise of it—well, it felt warm and comfortable and—

It felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, HOW WAS THAT??? AM I FULFILLING MY PROMISE OF FLUFF WITH ONLY A SPRINKLE OF ANGST???? LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!
> 
> (To give credit where credit is due, the poem comes from Graham Foust’s “Love Poem” which is one of my favorite poems of all time)
> 
> I LOVE YOUR KUDOS AND I ACTUALLY DIE (BUT IN A GOOD WAY!) WHENEVER YOU COMMENT, SO DO BOTH OF THOSE AND ALSO BOOKMARK, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE SO THAT WE CAN ALL FREAK OUT ABOUT OUR BOYS TOGETHER!!!!
> 
> OK THANKS LOVE YA BYE <3 <3 <3


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *insert "when will my husband return from the war" meme*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH YOU THOUGHT THAT JUST BECAUSE I POSTED TWO YESTERDAY I WOULDN'T POST ANOTHER TODAY???? HA!!!!!! It may be mother's day, I may have finished and submitted my thesis proposal, I may have gone to see a movie with my buddies, and I may have spent two hours in a webcomic planning meeting, but OF COURSE I HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR YOU!!!!
> 
> Also, my ao3 is being stupid so if I take forever to respond to comments, it's because IT WON'T LET ME (rude)
> 
> ANYWHO, ENJOY!!

Evan wasn’t ansty. He _wasn’t_. Sure, he had sent his last letter about three weeks ago, which meant that he should have heard back from Connor about a week ago, at the rate the mail has been coming and going between them. And, yeah, that made him a bit nervous, which was totally understandable considering that Connor was fighting in an actual war, but Evan was doing his best to _not_ think about that. At all.

But the other option, that Connor was fine and just not responding, still wasn’t all that comforting. Definitely better than the alternative, but not ideal either. It meant that something—Evan wracked his brain, but he didn’t know what—had thrown a metaphorical wrench between them. Had he been too forward? There was that comment about how Connor’s eyes, but he thought it had been mild compared to what had been said in other letters. Or was it that Connor really _was_ angry with him for not sending help? That would make sense, because—

“Would you stop it?” The cut of Alana’s voice across the breakfast table was enough to make him jump and withdraw from his own mind. She sighed and gave him a sympathetic look. “I know you’re worried—I am, too—but with the way you’re leg is moving, you’re making the table vibrate.” Evan stopped moving and smiled sheepishly. He hadn’t even realized what he’d been doing.

“S-sorry,” he murmured, picking up a piece of toast. Alana frowned.

“He really hasn’t responded yet?” she asked. Evan shook his head. “Maybe the letter just got lost. Or maybe they had to move base. Or, uhm, maybe he’s a spy in enemy territory. Or—”

“Or maybe he’s dead as a doornail and decaying on the side of the road,” Jared suggested, wandering in and taking his seat. It took him a moment to notice the furious expression on Alana’s face and the fear and concern crossing Evan’s. “It was a joke!”

“Not a very funny one, Jared,” Alana scolded. “He’s our friend.”

“Who? Connor?” Jared laughed, filling his glass with juice. “Just cause he’s wooing my friend doesn’t make him my friend. He’s still an asshole.” Alana gave him one last glare before turning back to Evan. 

“Ignore him,” she instructed. “He’s got his head shoved so far up his—”

“Hey!” Jared protested. “I can hear you!”

“Good!” Alana countered. Jared opened his mouth, considered for a moment, thought better of it, and shut it once again. Alana looked like she was ready to continue when there was a cough near the door.

“Pardon me,” Wendall said, “but several of the Murphys have just arrived.”

It took all of Evan’s self-control to avoid jumping up from the table and sprinting out to the entryway. He looked to Jared, who was smiling.

“Oh, well, that solves that!” Jared declared, pushing his seat back to walk out.

“Several—not all?” Alana asked, mostly to herself.

Evan nearly froze, nearly let his nerves stop him and hold him hostage at the table, but he didn’t. He needed to know.

The walk out was agonizing. Jared seemed to be purposely making it slower, stopping them to look at something over there or hear this funny joke he’d come up with. Finally, Alana had let out a frustrated groan, took Evan by the arm, and marched ahead, Jared calling out from behind them.

In the courtyard, the commotion was enough to make Evan’s head start aching. He pushed the pain away and began searching, his eyes scanning the crowd of refugees that must have come as well. This was bad, This meant that they hadn’t been able to keep the enemy at bay. Still, there wasn’t an entire region’s worth of people here, which, Evan prayed, meant that the damage had been controlled.

“Do you see him?” Alana asked, on her tiptoes to try and see as best she could.

_No_ , Evan thought, but couldn’t say. He didn’t see him. Maybe Connor had stayed to fight. Or maybe Jared’s joke had more truth to it. Maybe Connor was—Evan couldn’t even think it. He felt as though he couldn’t breathe or stand, not sure how he was still doing both. Tears were welling in his eyes, blurring the world, and he had to look away, couldn’t watch, couldn’t—

“Evan?” came a sweet voice, accompanied by a hand on his shoulder, and Evan was turning, reaching blindly and throwing decorum out the window as he pulled Connor as close to him as he could. The man let out a surprised grunt, but was laughing almost immediately. “Hello to you, too.”

A beat passed before Evan realized exactly what he was doing and where he was doing it. He jumped away, his cheeks burning, and scratched the back of his head. “Uhm, hi,” he mumbled. It took another long moment for him to look up to finally look up, to see the same face he had memorized, except it was dirty and scratched. “C-Connor, your face!”

“That bad, huh?” Connor smirked. His smile softened when he saw the concern on Evan’s face. “It’s okay, Evan. Nothing I can’t handle. All skin-deep. See?” He poked at one of the cuts on his cheek, badly hiding his wince. “Totally fine,” he claimed anyway.

“I, uhm…” Evan began, searching for any words that he could. “Connor, I…” He could feel tears forming at the corner of his eyes. There was so much he wanted to say, and no words for any of it. Connor seemed to understand, gently pulling him into his arms again.

“I know,” he murmured into Evan’s hair, “me too.” There was something wounded and vulnerable in his voice. “I missed you, too.”

 

~~~

 

Evan found himself sitting in his room alone again. Reluctantly, he’d led Connor to the nearest doctor, who said Connor would be fine, but that he needed to clean the wounds, and thoroughly considering all the dirt that must have seeped in. Connor seemed just as disappointed to part again, shooting Evan a frustrated look before leaving him again. Evan had smiled through it. He knew—he _knew_ —it would just be a few hours. Still, it felt as though he had lost Connor for a while there.

That morning had been emotional whiplash, and he had to let himself process. So he sat in his room and stared at the wall across from his bed until the sun hit its peak in the sky and then made its course back down. Golden sunlight was washing into his room when there was finally a knock on his door. 

“Y-yes?” Evan called back, trying to mask his excitement. The door opened to reveal Wendall. Evan tried not to look disappointed, and probably failed.

“Dinner will be served in the Great Hall soon, your highness,” he announced.

“Oh. Okay. T-thank you, W-Wendall,” Evan managed. The man seemed hesitant to close the door again, a flash of something that would have seemed like sympathy on anyone else crossing his features.

“Would your highness like some help dressing?” he asked, even though he was already stepping into Evan’s room and heading for the closet.

“O-okay?” Evan answered, unsure. This was new territory, Wendall being nice. There was a tense silence as Wendall found suitable attire and laid it out for Evan. The prince withdrew behind the changing screens in the corner of the room. When he reemerged, he could have sworn that he saw just a hint of a smile on the servant’s lips. “Is—Is this okay?”

“I am sure that all in attendance will find it fitting, your highness,” Wendall stated, “especially the Murphy knight.” Evan’s eyes widened, and his cheeks flushed. The man merely turned away and opened the door for the prince.

“T-thank you,” he mumbled, and then he was walking towards the hall, towards Connor. _Finally_.

And when he walked in, everyone had been seated already. Some looked up, but most kept eating. It didn’t matter. All he saw was Connor, who’s cheeks grew pink as he stood, a reflex that triggered the embarrassed expression that spread across his features moments later. Evan smiled wide, wider than he had in a long time, and he took a seat across from the knight.

“Hi,” Connor said, his voice quiet, accompanied only by the sound of silverware clinking against plates.

“Hi,” Evan answered, sure that he was blushing even harder. Connor opened his mouth to speak—

“God, just kiss,” Jared groaned from somewhere across the table.

“Jared!” Alana scolded. Connor gave Evan an apologetic look. The girl beside him, on the other hand, nearly spat her water out, her eyebrows shooting up as she looked to Evan.

“Wait!” she nearly shouted, practically slamming her water glass down, and the entire room turned its attention to her. “Are you my brother’s boyfriend?”

Yeah, it was going to be a fun dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tag yourself, I'm zoe (mostly because my name is zoë irl haaaaaa)
> 
> also, Connor has some major Mr. Darcy vibes here AMIRIGHT (wrong au, right feelio)
> 
> SO??? HOW WAS IT??????? KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE, BOOKMARK, ALL OF IT!!! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK AND (whenever ao3 starts to cooperate) I'LL RESPONDDDDD
> 
> K TKS LOVE YA BYE


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sisters and backstories and forests, OH MY!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU, it's way past my bedtime right now because I have work tomorrow but I FELT BAD RUINING OUR STREAK SO HERE'S A CHAPTER AND I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY IT BECAUSE IT IS LIKE PEAK FLUFF

“Whoops,” Zoe finally said once Jared’s laughter had died down. Even Alana was snickering, poorly hiding her traitorous behavior behind a hand. Connor coughed then cleared his throat.

“Your highness, Prince Evan Hansen, this is Lady Zoe Murphy,” he spared a quick glare to the girl in question, “my sister.”

“I-It’s a p-pleasure,” Evan managed, shocked that he could even get words out with how embarrassed he was feeling.

“The pleasure’s mine,” she laughed. “I promise that I’m usually very poised and graceful.” Connor snorted at that, only to receive a swift elbow to his ribs. He glared at her and she glared back. Evan smirked. They were so obviously siblings, synced on a level that he had found himself wishing for often as a child. 

“Sir Connor,” Jared’s mother called from where she was seated at one of the ends of the table, the king on the other. “It is a pity that your parents could not join you.” Connor frowned.

“Yes,” he answered, though he didn’t seem convinced. “They thought it better to stay in our lands. It would—” he stopped and cleared his throat, “It would be better. To show strength and,” he looked down, “unity.” When he looked up, he met Evan’s gaze. Evan furrowed his brow, sure that something was wrong, but not sure what exactly that was. The silence that followed was deafening.

“Connor just misses his mommy,” Zoe teased, tossing a wink her brother’s way and turning back to the queen.

“Oh, Zoe, how I have missed your company,” the queen chuckled. “How _have_ you been?”

From there, the conversation was easier, bouncing between the liveliest parties at the table. Connor, though, barely lifted his eyes from his plate. Evan followed the conversation, laughing along, but couldn’t help the worry that welled up in his stomach like a boulder.

“Say, Connor,” the king chimed in from his end of the table, “have I shown you the newest sword I had made? I tell you, I’ve never seen anything so sharp in my life. How about we go take a look now?”

“Arnold,” the queen chided, but the king shook his head.

“I’m done eating and so is Connor.” He looked to the knight in question, who seemed to be doing his best impression of a deer in lamplights. “Isn’t that right Connor?” The knight shrugged. “Great! Let’s go look.”

Connor gave Evan a look that seemed to scream for help but left anyway. Evan, in turn, cursed whatever malevolent being that controlled the universe and seemed hellbent on separating them as much as possible.

“Aww, you two are so cute!” Zoe said, thankfully keeping her voice down. “Him being all like ‘please don’t take me away!’ and you being like ‘this is your lot in life, Connor Murphy. Karma is a great and terrible thing.’” She smirked. “Okay maybe that last bit is me, but, in my defense, he did spend a lot of my childhood finishing off the milk before I could get to it.”

“O-oh,” Evan mumbled, not sure exactly how to respond. Zoe’s smile was just as bright as Connor’s, her hair just as silky, and her _everything_ just as intimidating.

“Don’t worry,” she told him conspiratorially, “I’ll make sure you two get some time together, without all the fanfare and, er, shouting sisters.”

“Oh. T-thank you.”

She gave him a wink before Alana wandered over, took Connor’s seat, and began talking with her. They seemed to get along instantly, and Evan found himself wishing he had people he was like that with. Except, he realized, he did. He had Connor. And even if Connor was dragged off just about every single time they spoke, it still counted. He carried the warmth that brought him through the rest of the meal, through his time waiting as the hall lost more and more people, and to his disappointed walk back to his room. 

 _Well_ , he told himself, _there’s always tomorrow._

He had just about fallen asleep when he heard a quiet knock against his door. He sighed and rubbed at his eyes. It had been a long day and, really, all he wanted was—

“Connor!” he exclaimed as the man in question opened the door. They both froze before, realizing exactly how embarrassing the situation could be, Connor closed the door until only a crack was open and Evan rushed across the room for a pair of suitable pants. 

“I’m sorry!” Connor whispered. “I thought—Well, I think I wasn’t thinking and that’s where everything went wrong. But…” There was a pause as he sucked in a deep breath. “I thought it might be time to explain myself.”

Evan froze again, one leg still out of his pants.

“Evan? Are you, uh, alive?”

“Yes!” Evan went back to work getting dressed. “Y-yes, I am. That sounds… yes.”

“Okay,” Connor laughed. Silence filled the room, but it was surprisingly comfortable, not something that Evan found himself hoping someone, anyone, would fill. He smiled to himself and opened the door to find Connor wearing a similar expression. “Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi,” Evan answered, blushing. They didn’t move for a long moment, content to just see and be seen. Footsteps at the end of the hall, though, pulled Connor out of his daze and he grabbed Evan’s hand to lead him forward.

“I was thinking,” he explained as they walked, “that we could kill two birds with one stone.” He saw the panicked expression on Evan’s face. “Metaphorically! Not really! Because I love birds.” He laughed again, heading towards one of the castle’s outdoor courtyards. “No, I meant that maybe I could show you some of the forest while I tell you… while I explain.”

“Okay,” Evan said quickly. He knew it was ridiculous, but he would follow Connor anywhere. The thought shocked him, but, he realized, it was true. 

They walked in silence until, finally, they were stepping off of the paved walkway and onto the damp grass. Evan let his eyes flutter shut as Connor led him forward. The smells, the sounds, the feelings—this was where Evan loved to be and longed to be when he wasn’t already there. Connor stopped, and when Evan opened his eyes, he found a warm smile spread across Connor’s lips. 

“I spent so long thinking of that smile,” Connor murmured, his hand coming to rest on Evan’s cheek for a moment. They stayed like that until Connor let out a sigh and put his hand down. His smile faltered and he turned away.

“When I turned twelve, my father brought me into the city around our stronghold,” he said, picking a leaf up off of the ground and fiddling with it. “He told me that I would be the lord one day and that I should learn about our people.” He turned back around, but kept his eyes fixed on the leaf. “I learned, yes, but what I learned was a horrible truth.” He frowned. “Our people were suffering and we did nothing to help them.”

“I watched a starving woman beg on the side of the street. She didn’t want money. The food wasn’t for her. She said she would embrace death if only someone would feed her son. I asked my father to help.” A cruel smile spread onto Connor’s features. “He told me to let her starve. He said that some people were born rich and others were born poor. Who were we to question the universe’s judgement?” He let the leaf fall.

“That night, I couldn’t sleep. I lived in such luxury while they lived in such squalor just outside the walls of my home.” He looked up to Evan then. “I couldn’t live with that. I broke into our pantry and filled bags with food. In the night, I took my horse and knocked upon that woman’s door. I gave her all of the food I could carry and what little gold I had in my pocket, and told her to keep it. I told her that if she ever needed help, to find me." 

Connor was silent for a long moment, his mouth opening and closing as he seemed to struggle for words. Evan wanted so badly to pull him close and tell him that it was okay, but he knew that this was something that had to be done. Connor needed to say this, and Evan was here to listen. 

“I went back a week later. I found… She was… Her son had died. Guards had taken the food back and given the boy lashings because they said he must have stolen the food. I went back to my father, explained what had happened, and he just—” Connor’s voice broke and a sob wrenched itself from his throat. Evan grabbed his hand, silently told him that it was okay. “He looked down from his throne and said that he had known all along. He said my punishment was to see what my theft had done, to see what the universe did to people who try to fight it.” 

“After that… Well, it didn’t take much to convince them to let me be a squire, which meant coming up to the kingdom here. I wanted to escape, but I also knew that the pain I felt would follow me forever.” He wiped at his eyes and his lips quirked up slightly. “One day, Jared made some comment about how much gold comes in and out of the kingdom, and that got the wheels turning. The first time, it was some diplomat with so much gold that I had to toss a bag into the bushes to come back for later,” he laughed, and Evan laughed, too.

“I make sure to only take what was for this kingdom, because, god, we are just _so_ wealthy. And Jared, he’s not even that mad. Sure, it gets a rise that someone is out there taking his money, but he knows he’s not hurting for money.” Connor gave a soft smile, and held Evan’s other hand in his. “I give it all away. Some of it goes back to my lands, but I try to spread it around. It seems less suspicious that way, and it’s more fair, I think.” He frowned a little. “When I went back to fight, it was because I knew who was on the outskirts. My parents are still living comfortably, but everyone else is suffering.”

“Your family,” Evan murmured, understanding, and Connor nodded.

“Yes. I love Zoe, she’ll always be my family, but my parents… Lines have been drawn and I was the one that drew them.” He looked into the woods for a long moment, considering. “It’s okay, though. When I returned, I found people who were not starving, and who had a pride for their land that hadn’t been there when I was growing up. The noblemen, they won’t fight unless they have to, but everyone else? They will. They stick together, and I stick with them.”

“Connor, that’s amazing,” Evan whispered. Connor’s face lit up.

 “You really think so?” When Evan nodded emphatically, Connor pulled him into a tight hug. And then he was pulling back and giving Evan a look that he knew should mean something but wasn’t sure what and then—and then Connor was kissing Evan, lightly, gently. He pulled away, his eyes wide, and opened his mouth—probably to apologize—but Evan didn’t let him, just leaned in and kissed him back.

Surrounded by nature and with each other, it felt like things would finally be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
> 
> OK KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, ALL THAT, YOU KNOW THE DRILL <3


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A break from the war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN LIKE 12 HOURS BUT HERE'S ANOTHER! It's kind of a break from everything that's been happening with some lighter moments sprinkled in there and a bit more Connor POV!
> 
> Enjoyyyyyyyyy!!!

It was a gorgeous morning. All mornings seemed gorgeous after that night, to be honest. The dew droplets on drooping leaves of grass, the lilt of birdsongs emanating from the woods, the creaking from the forest as the trees stretched—all of the world seemed to be waking up, a collective, harmonious yawn.

“DAMMIT!” 

Jared stormed into the dining room, his face red and twisted into a scowl. He plopped into the chair at the head of the table and crossed his arms. 

“And this tantrum is because…?” Alana sighed, not bothering to look up from the book she was reading. 

“That asshole, the Dark Rider,” he spat. Evan looked up at Connor, who was smirking. Alana cackled from where she sat.

“The who?” Zoe asked. “I want to be in on the joke, too!” Evan was confused. Either Zoe was a really great actress (which, that wouldn’t be all that shocking) or she really didn’t know. He had assumed that Connor would have told her. But he hadn't, which meant... Evan was the only one who knew.

“He’s this thief who keeps stealing Jared’s gifts before he can get them,” Alana supplied. “He’s kind of the best.”

“Excuse me!” Jared shouted, but the crack in his voice made it sound more amusing than threatening.

“Oh, right, sorry, he’s horrible, the absolute worst,” Alana amended, her voice dripping with sarcasm, and winked at Zoe.

“Hey! Look, he even stole from Evan,” Jared insisted. “It was traumatic, wasn’t it, Evan?”

“O-oh, _very_ ,” Evan agreed, smiling. Connor snorted. 

“Don’t be an asshole, Connor,” Jared quipped. “You and the Dark Rider would probably get along swimmingly, just enjoying my suffering.”

“Probably true,” Alana agreed. “Both of them are cool and seem to like Evan.” Connor smirked at Evan, who was caught between entertained and concerned. 

“Hey, I just realized,” Jared began, which was never a good sign, “why aren’t you trying to apprehend this criminal?”

“Uh…” Connor gave, eloquent as ever. He stuffed a piece of bread into his mouth, buying time to think. It was silent as the entire table watched him try not to choke on the roll as he chewed. “Oh! I’m already fighting a war, that’s why.” He swallowed and gave Jared a smirk. “Also, I’m a knight, not one of your palace guards who spends the day twiddling my thumbs.” Jared, squinted, seemingly skeptical, before shaking his head. 

“Lazy,” he said under his breath, and went to eating. “Also,” he added, looking to Evan, “how do you put up with him? I should award you a medal of honor or something for your dedication to keeping him from bothering me all the time.” There was silence for a moment.

“Hey Connor,” Zoe said, “you should catch this Dark Rider guy so that you can set me up with him.”

No one could understand why Connor practically spat the food he was eating out or why Evan was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

 

~~~

 

It was late in the afternoon when Zoe found Connor sitting in the middle of a meadow, his hair pulled back and his attention hyper-focused on the sketch he was working on. He didn’t notice her until she tapped a slippered foot against his knee.

“Hey, loser,” she greeted, giving him a smirk. Sometimes it was strange for Connor to see so much of his face in hers, but it was a gift, too, to know that there was someone in the world so similar to you, even if just in appearance. “Are you drawing?”

“Uh, yeah,” he admitted.

“I haven’t seen you do that since we were kids,” she noted, sitting beside him. Neither of them had ever minded getting their expensive clothes dirty, as much as it had irked their parents. “Is it for Evan?” Connor’s blush was all the answer she needed. “Aww, how cute!”

“Shut up,” he groaned, playfully bumping his shoulder against hers. She laughed, and they sat there, enjoying the forest.

“You’re good together,” she said quietly. When Connor looked to her, there was no hint of a joke on her face. “You seem happy.”

“I am,” he admitted. “He makes me good.”

“No.” Zoe shook her head, still smiling. “You were always good, Connor. He just, I don’t know, amplifies it.”

“I don’t know…” he began, but she stopped him.

“You _are_ good. You’re the same boy who let me use his sword when mom and dad didn’t want me to train. The same one who punched a lord when he tried forcing me away to go sew.” They laughed together. He had forgotten most of that. It was a wonder he didn’t have more enemies. “You’re the same one who stole from the pantry to help an ailing woman and her son,” she murmured.

“You know?” he asked, shocked.

“Dad let it slip a little while back.” She looked down. “I never understood why you left until then. I just knew that I missed my brother.”

“Zoe,” he began, but found that he didn’t know quite what to say. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. He wished that he could go back and undo what wrong he’d done. Guilt welled up in the pit of his stomach. “I’m so sorry.” Zoe looked up, confused.

“No, it’s—Connor, it’s not your fault,” she protested. “I get it, I’m not—It wasn’t fun, but I’m not angry with you anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have ever had to be angry with me.” God, how could he have been so stupid? Zoe was his sister, the only person in that family he could stand, and he had— 

“Stop beating yourself up in there,” Zoe demanded, knocking lightly on his head and giving him a smile. “You were a kid, I was a kid, we were all kids and we had no idea what we were doing.” She laughed. “I mean, not that we know _now_ , but… Well, I get it. I would have done the same if I were you.”

“But—”

“Nope! No more! I’m fine, you’re fine, we’re all fine,” she stated, and that seemed to decide it. Connor gave her a smile.

“You’re such a control freak sometimes,” he joked. She gave an astounded look that was far too dramatic to be genuine.

“Ironic coming from the guy who wouldn’t let me ride his horse for the entirety of our childhood.” They glared at each other for a long moment before cracking up. 

“Brat.”

“Loser.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BROTHER SISTER BONDING (y'all I don't have any siblings so like I hope I wrote that in an ok way hahaha fingers crossed)
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER we get back to the action a bit more and stuff (other than character development) happens!!! Until then....
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE, BOOKMARK, ALL THAT FUN STUFF!!! TKS LOVE YAAAAA


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Putting out fire with gasoline"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SIDE NOTE, that summary is from Bowie's song "Cat People" which is a++++ and I mean it's not ACTUALLY really related to what happens but I like the song and I'm the author here and LET ME HAVE THIS 
> 
> OTHER SIDE NOTE, have y'all checked out hadestown yet because like !!!!! it's so amazing and fascinating ???? it's based on the greek myth of Eurydice and Orpheus and the music is great like ok just check this out if you haven't and tell me what you think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k44h7U9iWo
> 
> OK OK OK so here's chapter nine and brief warning, there is some Angst and some mentions of violence at the beginning and a little bit in Connor's POV BUT NOTHING EXPLICIT OR GRAPHIC just like v sad so THAT IS YOUR WARNING
> 
> NOW GO READ

The ambush came at night. A confident militia, asleep in their beds; a peace taken for granted. The war was nearly done, they thought. The enemy wouldn’t dare, they thought. 

They thought, they thought, they thought until the fire crept under their beds, licking at the frayed edges of their sheets, and smoke filled their lungs.

 

~~~

 

Evan was pacing in the hallway, the only thing he could do to avoid panic’s grasp. He didn’t need to read what was in the letter Connor received, the ash-faced messenger, still wheezing, was enough to explain. The terror that wiped all the joy from Connor’s features really brought the point home. The knight had given him one brief look—a mixture of sadness and gut-wrenching pain that gripped Evan’s heart through his ribcage—before running into the castle, presumably to find Jared.

 They thought the fight was over. They thought it was time to be happy.

They thought wrong.

By the time Evan made to the council meeting room, the doors were decidedly shut. He could have walked in—really, he could have—but couldn’t. He reached for the handle, but couldn’t actually grab it. He took a deep breath. He couldn’t go in there.

And so he paced, back and forth, counting his steps and doing everything in his power to stay on the brink of panic without falling over the edge, because there was _nothing_ he could do, absolutely nothing. He felt useless. What was a title, a crown, without the power to help the man he loved most.

He stopped in his tracks. That was a new thought. That was… something to think about later.

He started moving again, back and forth like the pendulum of a clock, tick-tocking, waiting for something—enlightenment, divine intervention, someone to say it was all a joke— _anything_. His eyes shifted back to the door and he stopped again. He wished he could just see Connor. Connor would know what to do. Connor was the one with a plan, not _Evan_. Evan was the one who _asked_ what they ought to do next, _not_ the one who answered. 

There was no way that Evan could rally the troops needed for this kind of battle. Connor had a rapport with his people, could ask them to fight, but Evan didn’t have that! He’d wandered the palace halls for as long as he could remember, only passing through the little hamlets on his way to yet another palace. If only he could talk to them, if only he could say—

He stopped. His eyes remained fixed on the door, but a smile, slow, still unconfident, grew little by little on his lips. He began walking again, but this time he didn’t pace; he headed straight to his room, to his writing desk, to his closet.

He was a man on a mission.

 

~~~

 

Connor was pacing in the hallway, trying and failing to figure out what exactly he ought to say to Evan. There had been a fire, catastrophic and horrible. There had been so many lives lost, so many good people who went to bed and never woke up, or who woke up only to pound on doors that would never open again.

They thought they were safe. They thought they could trust him.

He stopped and braced himself against the wall. These were his people. He had promised to take care of them, and he had failed. And he couldn’t fix it. There was no undoing what was done, no turning time back, no staying with them, no putting his impatience for seeing Evan aside and just staying a little longer, fighting a little longer. He had failed. But he had to do something

He had to go back. He had to leave Evan. Again. Except this time he knew it wouldn’t be such a brief absence. This time it would be… he didn’t even want to think about it. It would be so long. And he would wait a thousand years, a million, an _eternity_ , but, well…

Why should Evan wait for someone like _him_?

His eyes flicked to Evan’s doorknob. He had to say goodbye again, and, he swore to god, it would rip him in two. But he had to do it. 

He reached out, already feeling the agony ripple through him, a prelude to what was sure to come—today, tomorrow, in weeks, it didn’t matter how long the inevitable split would take—and twisted the door open.

Shock trickled down his spine like icy cold water. The room was empty. None of Evan’s clothes. None of Evan’s journals. None of the letters he had sent to Evan. And, most heartbreakingly, no Evan. He didn’t understand.

“I believe this is for you, sir,” a voice suggested, and Connor jumped. Behind him was Evan’s valet in the castle, Wendall. He held an envelope in his hand. The sweeping cursive of his name was instantly recognizable. He didn’t mean to snatch it out of Wendall’s hand, but the smirk he received in response told him the man was more amused than irked.

He went back into Evan’s room and sat on the primly made bed. He didn’t know why, but his breath came in shaky waves as he broke the seal—a stamped royal blue oak that made Connor smile. He readied himself, taking another wavering breath before reading.

 

_My Dearest, Connor Murphy,_

_I want to begin with an emphatic apology. I hope that you know me well enough to understand that I would not leave without a goodbye if I had any other choice. And I hope that you believe me when I say that my haste is on behalf of you and the people you so love. I know that they aren’t mine, but I can’t help but feel an affinity for them, and a desire to help, in any way I can._

_It’s thanks to you and the passion you have for them that I realized that I can actually help, but it will take time. Your devotion to elevating them, providing what equality you can, keeping them from disappearing beneath the tapestries of our luxury, has inspired me. And so, I must leave, for now, but I’ll be back. And, I hope, you’ll soon see the impact on this war in what I’m trying to do._

_For now, I leave you with my condolences, a wish of good luck, and a promise. I will be back, and I know that you will be, too. I would wait a lifetime, an eternity, if it meant seeing you again and being with you, and so I will wait for you as long as it takes. Hopefully that’s not long, but even if it is, I’ll be there._

_Now, fight._

_Sincerely,_

_Me_

 

Connor looked up, wiping away tears he didn’t realize had welled up in his eyes. Outside, wind danced through the trees, rustling their leaves. He smiled, memories of that night in the forest with Evan swimming in his mind. He didn’t know what the future held, but he knew that Evan was standing there, beckoning him with an outstretched arm and the warm grin that kept Connor fighting even when he felt like he couldn’t move another muscle. 

Evan was waiting for Connor, and Connor would make sure he didn’t keep the prince, _his_ prince, waiting long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO WHEN I SAID I WAS TRYING TO AVOID ANGST, I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER, BUT LIKE LEGIT THIS IS PROBABLY AS ANGSTY AS IT GETS I THINK MAYBE PROBABLY HOPEFULLY
> 
> ANYWHO, KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, ALL THAT FUN STUFF
> 
> AND AGAIN, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT <3


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You will be found <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO LIKE okay I know I've like listened to "You Will Be Found" A Lot, but as I was listening to it for this chapter I was like ?????? omg the lyrics made me c r y in the middle of my abandoned college campus (unfortunately I still have work :)) it's so good
> 
> AND MAYBE THIS SONG HAS LIKE TRIGGERED THIS IN ME BUT I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT IF ANY OF Y'ALL WANT TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING EVER JUST LIKE HIT ME UP BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU AND *SOBS* 
> 
> ANYWHO, enjoy the chapter!!!!

Evan knew that he was fidgeting. He could sense with every _fiber_ of his being that he was moving way too much. He was eighty-five percent sure that he had even developed a twitch in his right pointer finger that definitely had not been there before, and he pulled at the hem of his doublet in the hopes of stopping it. He also knew that he was hyperventilating, the breath punched out of his lungs with every gulp of air that he took. He could feel the moist sweat on his palms and under his arms and on the back of his neck and _basically everywhere_.

But he had to stop. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, then another. He let his mind wander to Connor, let himself see Connor’s bright eyes and gentle smile, let it soothe him, remind him of why he was here. He opened his eyes and his gaze flicked to the burgundy mask sitting on the makeshift desk that had been set up for him. His lips quirked upwards, wary but determined, and he stepped out.

A myriad of confused faces stared back at him, all gathered to hear what it was that their prince had to say. He had never been to this town before—nor had he been to many others along the trail he was trekking—and they hadn’t seen royalty in decades, maybe more. They sat on the furthest outskirts of his kingdom, the closest town to Jared’s kingdom, to the war Connor was fighting. He had to make this good, he had to convince them—

A cough in the crowd pulled him out of his head. He had been standing silent for far too long—not just today, but every single day before this one—and it was time to speak.

“Uhm…” he began. He decided that that opening needed work. “Uh, g-greetings…?” Another cough from the crowd. Evan let out a sigh and gave a halfhearted smile. “I’m not… I-I’m not very good at this,” he admitted with a nervous laugh. “I’ve never—Y-you don’t know me, and that’s—that’s my fault. I should have… I should have d-done more.”

The crowd’s confusion seemed to grow, but there was interest there, too. Evan nodded to himself. He reminded himself that this was not about him or even Connor, but about them.

“N-Not far from here, there’s a war. Just a few days ago, there was a-a slaughter.” He winced at the thought. “Not of royalty, not of noblemen, but of regular people.” He paused, let it sink in. “They aren’t from this town or this region or even this kingdom, but they’re like you. And I don’t ask you to fight just to send more to slaughter; I ask you to fight because no one else will. These people, they don’t _deserve_ to be forgotten.” His voice had risen, passion and purpose helping him to grow stronger.

“I know that I haven’t been here. I have been blinded by the privilege in my own life, but now I see.” He smiled. “I see each and every one of you. And even though it may have felt like I have been absent all this time, I want you to know that I have thought of you always. I want to wash away this lonely feeling you may have.” He paused, overcome with compassion for the people before him. “If you don’t feel strong enough to stand, just reach out your hand.”

A boy in the front of the crowd reached his hand out then, a wary smile just like Evan’s on his lips. Evan stared back, amazed to see his own face in the crowd, to see someone that must have felt as alone as he had for so long. And then a woman in the center of the crowd reached her hand out, then an elderly man, leaning against his cane, then a little girl. Soon, the entire crowd was reaching out for him, to him, and he reached back, his face wet with tears he hadn’t realized he had shed.

“It’s time to come out of the shadows,” he said, his voice lower than before, wrought with passion and care and _love_. “The morning is breaking. All will be new.” He sniffled and laughed, happier than he thought he could ever be. “You are not alone,” he insisted, _needing_ them all to understand this. There was a long silence as they stood there, together.

“You are not alone,” he repeated, “and neither are they.”

 

~~~

 

It was only a few people at first, just a small group of men with no training who insisted that they wanted to fight. After a week, it was a steady trickle, another five or six people per day. Two weeks in and that trickle became a flood, with fifteen, twenty, sometimes even thirty people in one day.

And all of them said that Evan sent them.

With every newcomer, Connor felt his pride for Evan grow larger and larger. Evan, who had overcome his fear to help, who had left on a journey that probably terrified him, who was doing something to inspire people to fight, who Connor loved so much.

Connor looked up from the map he had been studying. That was certainly a new thought, one that was probably best filed away for later.

Still, he couldn’t not think about it, or Evan, not with everything that was happening. All he wanted to do was go find Evan and tell him exactly how much all of this meant to him, but he knew that he couldn’t leave. His gaze shifted to a blank sheet of paper on the edge of his desk, and a grin formed on his lips.

 

_My Favorite, Evan Hansen,_

_While I do admit that I missed our letter writing, I must say that I miss having you around much, much more. Reading your last letter, I was heartbroken that we could not properly say goodbye, but I am beginning to understand why you left in such a rush. More than that, I am beginning to understand that you are even more amazing than I had previously thought._

_People—your people—have been coming to me in droves, ready to fight, saying that they couldn’t let anyone be unheard, that they would be found. And all of it is because of you, because of what you’re doing. I am so proud of you, Evan. You are doing such an amazing thing here. Every day, I am reminded of how lucky I am to have you in my life, even if you are miles away in who-knows-where._

_There is so much to say, so much that weighs at my words in all the best ways, but a letter is not the right place to say things like that. I’ll fight harder, end this war faster, and do everything I can to be back before you can send the entirety of your kingdom my way._

_Sincerely—Miss You Dearly,_

_Me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SOBS AGAIN* 
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, YOU KNOW THE DEAL
> 
> LOVE YAAAAA <3


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming home, good news, and Jared getting screwed over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO the last 24 hours have been very busy and very stressful for me as I try to finally buy and arrange my travel plans for June/July for my thesis stuff and I spent a lot of time binge-watching a good place and also my uterus is i m p l o d i n g, but HERE'S A CHAPTER
> 
> not a whole lot really happens, but it's still important!! also sorry, no Connor this time (WHICH MAKES ME JUST AS SAD AS YOU PROBABLY) but NEXT TIME!!
> 
> OK, ENJOY

_Damn you for upstaging me, Evan Hansen!_

_Jared_

_P.S. Alana is telling me to tell you thank you so, thanks, loser._

 

  

Evan couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the already-crumpled strip of paper, obviously torn at the edges. He hadn’t expected anything from Jared, so this was more than enough praise from the neighboring palace. Honestly, he had forgotten that the Kleinmans were even really involved; it seemed that all he thought about these days were Connor and the towns he had visited.

Well, them and—

“Evan!” his mother practically screamed, rushing from the castle out to nearly tackle the prince to the ground with a hug. “I missed you, I missed you, I missed you,” she repeated, kissing his cheeks.

“Hi mom,” he breathlessly, all of his air squeezed from him. She stepped back and looked him over, examining, squinting.

“You seem different,” she decided. “Mature. Almost—well, grown up.” She smiled, nodded, and her appraisal was complete. “Oh, Evan, everything you’ve been doing—it’s amazing. When I sent you off, I never thought—” she broke off into laughter, motioning to him. “You’ve made your mom so proud.”

“O-oh,” Evan gave, blushing and looking down. He’d done so much now, gone so far past his comfort zone, but he still wasn’t sure how to handle praise. When he looked up, he found his mother, a fond smile on her lips and a hand on her hip, just as he’d left her. 

“C’mon,” she declared, swinging an arm around his shoulders and escorting him towards the castle, “I want to hear all about your time with the Kleinmans and these speeches you’ve been giving and whoever it is that’s got you enamored.” Evan startled at that, his eyes wide and questioning. The queen just laughed again. “A mother always knows.”

 

~~~

 

“Look, I’m not saying Evan is doing this to make me look bad—”

“You literally just said that thirty seconds ago.”

“—all I’m saying is that it way to convenient that he’s just swooped in and saved the day.” Jared sat back and crossed his arms, his expression saying that he thought that argument was more than enough. Alana mirrored his position, ready to pull apart any argument he threw her way. The door opened and both of them looked up to find Zoe walking in, a smile on her lips and a flower in her hair.

“Whatever,” Alana mumbled, sitting up straight. “Hi Zoe!”

“Well, hello!” Zoe answered cheerily, taking a seat beside the other woman. “How are you?”

“Great. So good,” Alana said, all too quickly. She coughed. “How are you?”

“Awesome!” Zoe returned. They sat there, smiling back at each other.

“Hi, I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Jared shouted. The two girls looked to him, but sent him only daggers. He opened his mouth to continue, but the door opened again.

“Sir,” the messenger began, out of breath, “there’s been a robbery.”

“DARK RIDER, I CURSE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN,” Jared yelled, slamming his hand down on the table hard enough that he winced behind his angry mask.

“Calm down,” Alana told him, “you don’t even know it was him.” The messenger coughed and averted his gaze.

“Well, the robber said that he was the, uh, Dark Rider,” he explained, his voice quieter and quieter, his eyes fixed on the ground.

“DAMMIT!”

“Calm down,” Alana repeated. “Don’t be such a baby.” The prince glared at her and she glared right back.

“Is there any good news?” Zoe tried. Curiously enough, her hand fell on top of Alana’s where it sat on the table, seemingly subconsciously.

“Yes!” the messenger said quickly. “Sir Connor is returning from the war front. He says that the fighting is practically finished. All of the extra troops from the Hansen kingdom helped.” Jared’s eyes widened and opened his mouth, fuming. Alana cut him off.

“Thanks so much, best be off,” she told the messenger, who promptly took her advice. She turned back to Jared. “Sit down before have a stroke.” Jared squinted at her, but did as he was told.

“First Evan takes all the praise for this. Then I get robbed by the Dark Rider, AGAIN, and now I have to deal with that asshole knight, Connor?” Jared pouted. “Full offense, Zoe.”

“Uh, taken?” she answered, half-laughing. 

“I know, such a hard day for his highness,” Alana teased. “It’s almost like the universe is plotting against you.” Jared shot her a grumpy sneer. Except, instead of his face falling back into the frown it had had before, a shock of realization spread over it. His mouth fell open even as his lips began quirking upwards.

“Yeah,” he nodded, his thoughts obviously far from Alana’s comment. “Or like _someone_ is plotting against me.”

“What?” Alana asked, concern on the edge of her voice. Jared’s gaze snapped back to her and he smiled, a predatory smile.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, thought he was obviously hiding something. “Nothing,” he said again, “just let me know when Connor gets here. I’ve got a few questions for him.”

He stood and left the room, still grinning, and all Alana and Zoe could do was share a confused and worried look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RUH-ROH!! 
> 
> ANYWHO sorry to leave y'all on a cliffhanger, but, like, you just have to wait max 24 hours and a new chapter will be here because we all know that I can't stay away from this fic for too long *shrug*
> 
> I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!! GO KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, BOOKMARK, SUBSCRIBE, ALL THAT FUN STUFF!!! THANKS, LOVE Y'ALL!!!


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you've fallen in the forest...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter update than usual because I've been super freaking busy today, but all of my travel is finalized and I finally figured out how to get paid for my job (: (I've been working there for a month and no one bothered to tell me that there are two timesheet you have to do to get paid sooooo !!!!!!) so here's hoping I'll have more asap

Evan had been home for eight days and he was _fine_. Really, he was. He hadn’t wanted to leave in the first place and now he was back and it was _fine_. It was _great_. It was—

God, it was _boring_ , so mind-numbingly _boring_. He hated to say it, because, really, he was happy to see his mother again and happy to sit amongst the trees he had grown up with and… well, that was about it. There really was nothing to do in the castle, which, considering his life before going to the Kleinman kingdom, made total sense.

But he couldn’t go back, not just yet, not until he knew for sure that the war was done and…  and that Connor was still waiting for him. His mother told him that it was ridiculous and that Connor was most certainly waiting for him (and that if he wasn’t, then he best stay hidden if he knew what was good for him and even though she said she was kidding, Evan wasn’t entirely convinced). But it felt too good to be true. Not that there hadn’t been bumps in the road, because, you know, _an entire war_ was quite the bump and the whole robber thing was something to overcome, but _still_.  

Evan groaned where he was sitting in the clearing, beneath the very same tree he had broken his arm falling off of. He was so holed up in his head, but he had absolutely no idea how to get out of it. Over the past few months, he’d learned that keeping busy was actually an amazing cure, which was great, except that he was surrounded by miles of _nothing_. 

He looked up at the tree that towered above him and couldn’t help remembering those long moments where he had laid on the ground, his arm strangely numb until it had begun hurting, aching more than anything else. He’d just stayed there, thinking that someone would be by any moment. _Any minute now_ , he had thought, but no one came until just before dark. He had wished and wished and wished and no one had come.

He wondered, briefly, if it would be like that with Connor. He’d climbed to such great heights, and now all he had to do was wait for Connor to come through, to find him again, but maybe he wouldn’t show. Maybe Evan would just be stuck, broken and suffering. Alone.

He didn’t realize that he tears had begun pooling in his eyes until a servant cleared his throat.

“Oh, u-uhm, yes?” he stammered, wiping at his eyes.

“A letter,” she announced, holding up the item in question. Evan stood and took it from her hands. She had barely turned around by the time he was tearing it open. As soon as he saw the handwriting, his heart dropped. It wasn’t from Connor.

 

_Your Highness, Evan Hansen,_

_While I am pleased to report that the war has been won, it is with a heavy heart that I write you. Sir Connor Murphy has been discovered to be the Dark Rider, the man has stolen thousands of gold coins from the Kleinman kingdom. Prince Jared is currently deliberating, trying to decide how exactly to punish him. Your highness, this may be out of line to say, but it is of the utmost importance that you return at once in order to intercede on the knight’s behalf. His future depends on you._

_Hurry back,_

_Wendall_

Evan barely had enough time to process the shock that Wendall—the grumpiest man he had ever seen—had written him before he was taking off in a run, sprinting towards the castle, already planning out the fastest routes in his mind.

It was Connor who had fallen, Connor who needed to be found, and, by god, Evan would be the one to pick him up off the ground, dust him off, and never, ever let him go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH SORRY I KNOW I SAID I'D LIKE RESOLVE THINGS ASAP, WHICH I WILL, I PROMISE, THERE WILL BE FAR FEWER CLIFFHANGERS AT THIS POINT AND TBH I THINK WE'RE COMING TO THE END OF THIS SOON UNLESS YOU GUYS ARE LIKE "NO WE WANT MORE" AND THEN I'LL UH SIT AROUND AND THINK OF MORE PLOTS FOR MY BOIS BUT YEAH
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, YOU KNOW THE DRILL
> 
> LOVE YA, BYEEEEEEEE


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prison break!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE EXACTLY 30 MINUTES BEFORE IT'S TOMORROW BUT HERE I AM WITH A NEW CHAPTER HAAAAA
> 
> OK GO READ AND ENJOOOOOYYYYY <3

“Jared!” Evan was already yelling, still on horseback, as he entered the castle’s front courtyard. He nearly went face-to-cobblestone on the dismount (a stableboy had given him a crash course—with some real crashes to boot—on riding before he’d galloped off, and while it was enough to get him from his kingdom to Jared’s, it was nothing to write home about or let anyone see ever again), but he was storming into the castle in no time.

“Your highness—” a servant began, but Evan didn’t even look their way (and fought the intense urge to apologize for it).

“JARED,” Evan shouted, louder than before. He wanted the entire palace to hear the echoes of his call, wanted everyone to know that he was _here_ , wanted Connor to know that he _wasn’t_ forgotten. He realized, as he marched toward the doors of the great hall, that his voice hadn’t been so loud in… he couldn’t remember. When was the last time he had yelled like this? Had he ever? 

“JA—oh.” Jared appeared between Evan and the door of the hall, groggily scratching his head and giving a wide yawn.

“Yes, Evan?” he asked as though he didn’t know what Evan’s commotion was about and, in fact, was unaware that any commotion had been caused. Evan stopped and blinked. He hadn’t really thought past ride a horse to the Kleinman kingdom ( _check_ ) and storm the castle ( _check_ ).

“C-Connor,” he said by way of explanation. Jared tilted his head in a silent question. Evan mustered the confidence he had on reserve. “You’ve  _imprisoned_ him.”

“Connor?” Jared asked, thoroughly confused for a second before he remembered. “Oh! _Connor_. Right.” Something cruel twisted in the prince’s expression, a sharp smile, a wicked glint in his eye. “You mean the knight who _stole_ from me, from my _kingdom_?” 

“You’re f-filthy rich, Jared!” Evan argued, his voice rising again. “And be-besides, he returned it all to your people.” Confusion flashed again on Jared’s face, until—

“ _Wait_.” He stepped closer, and Evan really wanted to rethink this storm the castle alone plan. “You _knew_?” Jared pushed Evan’s shoulder, just hard enough that Evan wobbled a little on his feet. “You _kept_ this from me?” He pushed again, and Evan stepped back, holding his hands up by means of defense. “ _All_ this time?” Evan opened his mouth, searching for something to say, his vocal chords refusing to cooperate, but Jared cut him off with… laughter? Yes, he was laughing. Full-force laugher, holding a hand to his belly, keeling over, unable to breathe past the cackling.

“Uh, Jared?”

“Oh my _god_!” Jared gave, barely catching his breath and standing up again. “I can’t _believe_ it! Who knew you had it in you!” He snorted a little. “Well, I mean, maybe you had _Connor_ in—

“Okay!” Evan said quickly, nervously laughing along. “I’m, uh, confused?” Jared gave one last laugh before finally calming himself down and giving Evan a signature smirk.

“C’mon, buddy,” he said, slapping a hand on Evan’s shoulder and leading him towards the dining room.

“Jared, I don’t—” Evan began, wanting desperately to find some answers, when Jared opened the door and revealed them all. Connor was leaning back in a seat, his feet resting on the table, a half-eaten apple in his hand, and a wide grin on his lips. He was okay. He was _okay_. Evan’s heart stopped for a second only to start again when Connor looked to him, his smile faltering until he chucked the apple across the room and ran forward.

“Connor!” was all Evan had time to say before he was being scooped into Connor’s arms, enveloped in warmth and happiness and _love_. And then he was being kissed within an inch of his life, and, _god_ , how had he _ever_ gone without this? How could he have ever thought that Connor wouldn’t be waiting for him? 

“Get a room!” Jared shouted, and Connor pulled away, blushing and oh-so-happy. Evan never wanted to leave this moment. He never wanted to leave Connor. He wanted that face on the pillow next to him each morning, wanted to sit across from him at every meal, wanted to lie in the forest for hours until the sun rose and the dew gathered on their eyelashes. This, and only this, for forever.

“I love you,” he said suddenly, shocked that the words had even tumbled from his lips. He didn’t know what he expected, didn’t think it could go well at all, but Connor’s smile just widened and, wow, he never wanted that smile to go away.

“I love you, too,” Connor answered, and everything was _perfect_.

“Sit down at the table before I imprison your boyfriend again!” Jared called, and that got Evan’s attention. He looked over Connor’s shoulder to where Jared had taken a seat at the head of the table.

“Again?” he asked, a gruff protectiveness in his voice and, yeah, that was new and totally okay. Jared’s eyes shifted around the room and he gave a nervous laugh.

“Did I say again?” he asked. Connor looked into Evan’s eyes one more time before turning around and sauntering back to his seat.

“Oh, yes, Jared, _please_ tell Evan about what happened when I came back from winning a war for you,” Connor drawled, picking out a new apple from the center of the table. Evan took a seat beside him and looked at Jared expectantly. The prince frowned, sighed, and decided it was in his best interest to get it over with.

“Well, you see, in all of my genius, I figured out that Connor was the Dark Rider—”

“Uhm—” Connor butt in, but Jared sighed and started again.

“Okay, fine! I _actually_ thought that Connor might _know_ the Dark Rider, so, when he got back, I immediately started questioning him,” Jared explained. “It was then and there that I figured out that Connor was the Dark Rider!” Connor coughed and Jared shot him a glare. “FINE! Connor confessed—”

“ _Actually_ ,” Connor began, laughing, “I tossed the gold I stole from you down at your feet and told you I’d stolen it and that I was the Dark Rider before you even got past teasing me about being away from Evan for so long.”

“And _then_ I imprisoned him.”

“ _Seriously_?” Evan looked between Jared—who didn’t say anything more—and Connor—who just shrugged—waiting for one of them to add a “just kidding” in. No one did.

“What was I _supposed_ to do?! He _stole_ from me!” Jared argued. 

“ _But then_ —” Connor began, trying to move the story forward, only for Jared to cut him off.

“But then I realized that Connor was an asshole and there was no cure for that and now he’s on death row and this is his VERY LAST MEAL—”

“BUT THEN—” Connor began again, taking a bite of his apple. Jared groaned and looked down at his plate, pouting.

“ _But then_ I realized that the kingdom is super rich and that we really weren’t missing what he had given away,” Jared muttered.

“So basically, I was in prison for like one day,” Connor laughed. “No harm, no foul.”

“And our agreement—”

“Ah, yes,” Connor said, cutting Jared off with a smirk. “We agreed that whatever gold I could steal would be mine to keep or share as I please.”

“But you’re not getting anymore,” Jared argued, “because we’re kicking up defenses and we know exactly who we’re looking for and—"

“Still gonna get it,” Connor declared, giving a grin to Evan. “No one beats me.”

“I can still send you back to prison,” Jared grumbled. Evan shot him a look.

“Not if you want to keep our kingdoms’ partnership,” he countered, surprising both himself and Jared. Connor, though, just kept smirking, as if he knew Evan had had it in him the whole time. 

“Well, I’ll be damned!” Jared laughed. “You _can_ grow a spine!”

“Shut up, Jared,” Evan and Connor said at the same time. They turned to each other and smiled wide.

“God, now you’re _both_ assholes,” Jared complained. “If you’ll excuse me, I guess I have to go plan a ball since the war had been won and there’s a prince visiting or whatever.” Neither Connor nor Evan noticed—or cared—when he left. They were back together and everything was okay. 

“I missed you,” Connor murmured, taking Evan’s hand in his.

“I missed you, too,” Evan said. “But we’re together now.” Connor nodded, a gentle smile on his lips.

“Now and always,” Connor promised, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to Evan’s lips.

“Now and always,” Evan repeated, whispering. Connor was home for Evan, and it felt good to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAA MY BABIEEEEEEEEES <3 
> 
> So, BIG NOTE, like I said, I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this much longer, but if you want me to continue, just let me know and I'll do my best like before! <3
> 
> OK, KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, ALL THAT FUN STUFF <3 LOVE YAAAAAA


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's only a matter of time <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI FIRST OF ALL I'M SOBBING BECAUSE I LISTENED TO HAMILTON FOR THE 15 MILLIONTH TIME AS YOU CAN TELL FROM THE SUMMARY but also this chapter, wow, so much fluff. get ready for fluff monster honestly. also I think this might be the longest chapter yet!
> 
> (also we're 10 kudos away from 200 which is WOW so share like crazy y'aaaaaall <3)
> 
> WARNING: there is some mention of suicidal thoughts/tendencies in the first section, so if you want to skip past that, just go to the section after the ~~~ and continue from there <3
> 
> OK, GO READ AND ENJOY AND FEEL THE FLUFF
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. Tonight (the night after I originally posted this) I'm not going to have a new chapter up. I have really terrible, horrible, mega-bad cramps that even my prescribed painkillers aren’t doing much for and y’all I just want to sleep, I feel so bad right now. SO since I had at least one day where I did two chapters + we’re at a good pause point, I’m not going to update tonight (but I’ll do my best to come back around tomorrow <3). sorryyyyyy!!

For the first time since they’d met, all those months prior, Evan and Connor had time. They could wander the forests, explore the castle, talk for hours, or anything else they could think to do, but, mostly, they could just _be_. And, sure, all those other things could happen, but they didn’t have to happen immediately. There was no rush, no hurry, nothing except sweet, sweet time.

“We will, it will, the rest won’t be history,” Evan murmured, remembering the poem that Connor had sent him. It felt like ages since then. He remembered first reading those lines, so hopeful for a time like this, but still unsure. He had been unsure of everything then.

He looked up from his book to where Connor was lounging across the room, his hair pulled back, the picture of focus. A smile curled itself onto his lips. When Evan had imagined a life with someone—before he’d even met Connor—he had once thought of adventure and wonder and anything but the mundane. Now, though, he knew that the adventure part could be exhausting and that there was so much wonder in the everyday. Mundane, he had realized, was a blessing.

“Ev?” Connor said quietly, and Evan was brought back to the moment. “Did you say something?” he asked distantly, his gaze still fixed on the sketch he was working on. 

“I—yeah,” Evan admitted, and Connor looked up, his silence a patient question. “I just—the poem you sent me a while ago came to mind. ‘We will, it will, the rest won’t be history.’ That one.” Connor titled his head and studied Evan for a moment before a contented expression grew on his features.

“How would you like to go for a walk with me?” Connor completed, standing and making his way to Evan. He held out his hand in invitation. 

“O-oh, now?” Evan asked, though he was giggling. “Okay.” He took Connor’s hand and they set out in comfortable silence. That was something new for Evan. Every single silence before he had met Connor was tense and heavy and weighed on him enough that he was usually reduced to a rambling mess. With Connor, though, he’d discovered that not every silence was meant to be filled, that sometimes a lack of words just meant the abundance of emotion. A lot of things, actually, changed with Connor. It wasn’t that Connor had any sort of magical powers or knew exactly what to say; it was because Connor spoke to Evan honestly, openly, kindly, without ulterior motives or expectations. Connor didn’t push him, but he gave him room to move and grow, and Evan had done just that, like a tree reaching for sunlight.

Fittingly, they found themselves approaching the tree line of the forest and entering. 

“You know,” Evan began, laughing a little, “it’s been just about a year since I fell from the tree in my kingdom.”

“Still gotta teach you how to climb down without hurting yourself,” Connor murmured playfully.

“It’s funny, how it happened.” He looked up at the trees and smiled sadly. “I, uhm, I didn’t just f-fall. I was going to jump.” It was the first time he’d said it aloud, one of the only times he admitted it to even himself. He felt Connor’s grip on his hand tighten, but the knight stayed silent, let him continue. “I was really lonely and didn’t see much of a point in anything and—” he stopped and took a deep breath, steadying himself, “—and the branch snapped before I could decide what to do, but... I was going to jump.”

“Evan…” Connor whispered, his voice so quiet, so vulnerable, and Evan shook his head, smiling.

“I’m fine now, I’m good,” he reassured, looking down, still not daring to meet Connor’s gaze. “It was just—It wasn’t great then. And when I hit the ground, I was there for… I don’t even know. It felt like hours. And I kept thinking someone would come and get me. ‘Any minute now,’ I kept telling myself, but no one came until it was nearly dark, and even then, it was just by chance.” He bit his lip, pushing the flood of memories down. “I didn’t do anything like that again, but… I kept thinking—it was a g-great metaphor for my life. If you’ve fallen in a forest and nobody’s around, do you ever really crash or even make a sound?” He paused, overcome for a moment. “I was sure that my life would come and go without anybody realizing I was even there.”

He could feel Connor’s eyes on him, knew that Connor wanted to say more, but he had to continue, to get it all out. There was a purpose to all of this. He just didn’t really know what it was yet.

“And then my mom sent me here and I met you and you know the rest,” he laughed, bumping Connor’s shoulder. “I didn’t think things could ever change, but—you _heard_ me. Not only that, you inspired me to _make_ myself heard. Before, I thought I didn’t matter, I thought everyone knew their purpose except me. But then you showed me that I _matter,_ and when I went through my kingdom, I saw that not only did what I do matter, but that I’m not the only one who felt forgotten.” He smiled, remembering all the faces he had seen, all the people he had spoken with. “A year ago, I was ready to call it quits, but here I am.” He gulped and finally turned to face Connor, whose cheeks were wet with tears. Evan lifted his hand and wiped at the knight’s cheeks, smiling gently. “It’s all because of you, Connor. Without you,  _none_ of these changes, none of _this_ , would be possible.”

Connor opened his mouth, searching for words as his eyebrows furrowed, but gave up and pulled Evan close to him in a tight embrace. Connor was crying and, Evan realized, so was he. It wasn’t sadness or pain or despair; it was relief and thanks and _love_. They stayed like that for a long time, holding each other as the birds sung and sunlight flooded through the trees, just _being_. They weren’t in a rush. They had _time_.

 

~~~

 

“So, like, how long before you propose?” Zoe asked, lying on Connor’s bed, reading a book. He nearly jumped back—whether it was the surprise of seeing her in his room or the implications of her question, the world will never know.

“Uh, pardon?” he asked, his voice too high to be smooth. He wandered in and took a seat at his desk, sliding his new sketches into one of the drawers. He had practically used up an entire ream of paper in his first week back with Evan; he’d have to learn to repurpose or resize if he wanted to keep his forests as dense as they were now.

“Oh, come _on_.” She sat up and stared him down. “You love him, he loves you, you guys are the cutest couple to have ever existed—please note that as your sister I would rather not notice how cute your relationship is, but _it’s just that cute_ —so, uh, get married already?”

“Zoe,” he warned, determined not to make any eye contact. 

“Connor,” she mimicked, standing up and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Look. I’m just going to say this and then it’s all on you to deal with everything. Evan is _literally_ the best person you have _ever_ met—besides me, of course. And he’s so into you! Don’t even _try_ to tell me that you’re worried he’s not as committed because that boy is head over heels for you, buddy. It would be icky if it wasn’t _so damn cute_.” She groaned and headed for the door. “Just do everyone in a five-mile radius a favor and make it official. Okay? Okay.”

With that, the door was shut, leaving Connor alone with his sketches, his view of the forest, and his thoughts.

It wasn’t that the idea of marrying Evan wasn’t _amazing_ , because it was. He just… It was ridiculous, but he felt like maybe Evan deserved better. Zoe was right, Evan _was_ the best person he had ever met, probably the best person to ever _exist_. And Connor was… well, Connor. Even thought it was for a good cause, he was still a thief. As much as he hated to admit it, Jared was at least a little right in calling him an asshole. He could be competitive and rude and irresponsible about a billion other things that Evan shouldn’t have to deal with. He had left his own sister behind just because he needed to get away.

 _But you’ve been forgiven, and he knows all of that already_ , a voice reminded him. Reluctantly, he had to agree. Evan _did_ know that. And, after all, Connor hadn’t been all that terrible since he’d met Evan. God, he’d even complimented Jared the other day, which was weird and made him a little queasy, but still. Evan made him work to be better. And maybe that was it all along. Evan had told him that Connor had made things better for him, and it went both ways. Everything, including Connor, was better with Evan around.

And not just the big things; Connor hadn’t been able to sit still for more than ten minutes until Evan had come along. He sparred less and sketched more. He found comfort in quiet time now. He had discovered that mundane moments lounging around together were so sweet, that he needed to cherish them, remember them. He used to love fighting, but now peace was so much better, and it was all because he had Evan. Without Evan—he didn’t even want to think about it.

He sat up straight suddenly, the realization jolting him forward, ready for action. He was going to marry that boy. He was going to spend his entire life with him, spoil him and care for him and love him until the day he died, which he hoped would be a very long time from now, because the possibilities of this life were _beautiful_.

Yeah. He had to propose.

 

~~~

 

It was in the middle of the hall, long after everyone had gone to sleep, that Evan quite literally ran into Connor.

“Oh! Connor!” Evan said, a mixture of shock and nerves in his stomach. “I’m sorry!”

“No!” Connor replied quickly, putting a hand on Evan’s shoulder to steady him. “I’m the one that’s sorry. Are you, uhm, okay?”

“Yeah!” Evan lied, laughing nervously. “Oh yeah, totally fine, the _actual_ best.”

“Uh-huh,” Connor nodded, unconvinced.

“Well, I, uhm—I actually have something to ask you?” It was more of a question than a statement.

“Me too,” Connor admitted. The two of them stared at each other in silence for a long moment. “Uhm,” he finally said. “Maybe you should go first?”

“Oh! Me! Right! O-okay! Yeah, totally, totally, _totally_ ,” Evan rambled, and, yeah, he was definitely on the verge of a panic attack, but he had to push through, because this was important.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Connor cooed, a hand on Evan’s cheek. “No matter what, I’m right here, okay?”

“Okay,” Evan said. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. “Connor, you’re so—I can’t imagine a life without you. You’re the best person I’ve ever met and probably the best person that ever existed. And I love you so much. _So_ much. And I, uhm… well, I have a question.” Evan gave a quick laugh before he knelt down (and thanked whatever great force seemed to be watching over him for not letting his knees buckle). “W-would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

“Oh,” Connor said, which was not an actual answer. Evan felt his heart stop in his chest. He wanted to stand but his legs seemed to have stopped working.

“You don’t have to! I-I get it! D-don’t worry!” Every single thing he said was about three octaves too high and it all sounded like he was lying, but he had absolutely nothing else to say. “It’s o-okay, it’s—” 

“Yes,” Connor answered, nodding emphatically. “Yes, yes, definitely yes, so much yes.” And then he was on his knees too and kissing Evan and—wait, he said yes? He had actually said yes?

“Really?” Evan asked when Connor broke away. “Like, you heard my question right?”

“Yes, Evan,” Connor laughed, his hands on both of Evan’s cheeks. “You actually beat me to it.” He leaned forward to whisper in Evan’s ear. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“Really?” Evan repeated, too loud, and Connor held his ear, still laughing.

“Yes,” Connor repeated quietly, leaning his forehead against Evan’s. “Yes.” He kissed Evan’s left cheek. “Yes.” This time his right cheek. “Yes, yes, a million times yes.” He connected his lips to Evan’s in a chaste kiss. When he pulled back they were both smiling.

“Really?” Evan asked, the joke apparent in his voice.

“Yes,” Connor laughed, leaning his forehead to Evan’s. “I’ll keep saying yes as long as you want me to.”

“Maybe a once or twice or a couple hundred more times,” Evan murmured. “I don’t think it’ll ever get old.”

“Yes,” Connor said again, smirking. “Yes for forever, Ev.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAA *SOBS* DON'T KNOW IF I WANT A CONNOR OR AN EVAN IN MY LIFE MORE. BOTH. BOTH. BOTH IS GOOD. ANYWHO MY BABIES ARE HAPPY SO I'M HAPPY <3 <3 <3 
> 
> SO like I said last chapter, I'm not totally sure how long I'm going to keep this up. Based on responses, I'll at least do a few chapters more, but if y'all want more than that, COMMENT AND TELL ME!!! and, as usual...
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, BOOKMARK, SUBSCRIBE, ALL THAT JAZZ
> 
> LOVE YAAAAAAAAA <3
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. I know this is on top already BUT again for those that didn't see it. Tonight (the night after I originally posted this) I'm not going to have a new chapter up. I have really terrible, horrible, mega-bad cramps that even my prescribed painkillers aren’t doing much for and y’all I just want to sleep, I feel so bad right now. SO since I had at least one day where I did two chapters + we’re at a good pause point, I’m not going to update tonight (but I’ll do my best to come back around tomorrow <3). sorryyyyyy!!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding plans!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS! So I don't know if you saw the note I added yesterday (to my Tumblr + to the last chapter), but I was having incredibly painful cramps that even my painkillers weren't doing much for, so I couldn't get to the chapter last night. Thankfully I am feeling much better today so I spent most of the day submitting a bunch of my work to a bunch of literary journals and magazines and, of cooooourse, now I have a chapter for all of yoooooou!!!! <3
> 
> I ALSO HAVE A QUESTION: there were some people saying maybe we could up the rating to like M/E for possible future content and I'm thinking maybe??? I'm not sure if I'm going to do it yet, but I'd love to hear some input from you guys?? I know you came into It with the T rating so like I want to see where y'all stand on it. SO LET ME KNOW!!! <3
> 
> also I wanted to recognize some awesome milestones!!! today we officially hit the 20,000 word mark, which is INSANE! we also hit the 200 kudos mark and we're nearly at the 50 subscriptions mark!!!! AND IT'S THE TWO WEEK MARK SINCE THIS FIC CAME OUT WHICH MAKES THIS SO WILD, GUYS, THAT IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY!!!! I just want to reiterate how thankful I am for your continued support. I feel so lucky to have such wonderful people following along and to be BLESSED with your comments on the daily and it's honestly such an amazing thing. I've said it so many times before, but I don't think I'll ever fully get the message across: THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!! You guys are really the best, and this is really a fangirl's/fanfic writer's dream come true <3
> 
> OK, GO READ AND ENJOY <3 <3 <3

“So I’m _assuming_ you’ll want to use _my_ palace for this fairytale wedding of yours?” Jared asked as he strolled into the dining hall for breakfast the next morning.

“What?” Evan asked, his voice cracking as the piece of toast he was spreading jam onto fell from his hand.

“Did you _really_ think no one heard you two _disgusting_ lovebirds?” Jared scoffed. He took a seat and raised his eyebrows at Connor and Evan where they sat.

“Wait—what?!” Zoe nearly shouted, though she was smiling. “You actually did it?” she asked her brother.

“Well—” Connor began, but was stopped.

“ _Shockingly_ , our little Evan here beat him to the punch!” Jared chimed in, and, honestly, it was too early for this much Jared.

“That’s amazing! You _have_ to have the wedding here and, of course, I would be honored to plan it for you,” Alana declared, and it was clear that this was a decision not to be questioned. Connor and Evan looked at each other, both equally out of their depth.

“Uhm—” Evan tried, but found himself cut off.

“Yeah, this place is _way_ nicer than your castle,” Jared snorted, biting into a piece of toast.

“No offense,” Alana added for him, shooting a glare his way, but he just shrugged.

“I don’t think you have to say that if it’s true,” Jared mused.

“Are you going to invite mom?” Zoe asked, her voice conspiratorially low. “Are you going to invite _dad_?”

“I’m thinking autumn,” Alana announced. “Spring is overdone, summer is hot, but autumn is interesting and better for your complexion.”

“Great, guess we’ll have you freeloaders around even longer,” Jared groaned, before he came to a realization. “Wait, does this mean you’ll stop pillaging from me and start pillaging from your own husband, assuming you’ll head over to his lame kingdom?”

“Wait!” Zoe gasped. “Does this mean you’ll be a prince?”

“OKAY!” Connor said quickly, a slightly crazed laugh tumbling out, too. “I think we’re going to put a moratorium on wedding talk for at least a few days.” He looked to Evan, who nodded in agreement, obviously appreciative that Connor piped up. The girls offered disappointed grimaces, but Jared just laughed. 

“I know right! I mean,” he pointed his thumb toward Alana and Zoe, “these girls are going overboard, right?”

“That means you, too, Jared,” Connor deadpanned. “But I will answer one question. _Of course_ I’ll keep pillaging from you,” he smirked, and Jared scowled. “You and I, we have a  _very_ special bond. I can’t end things just because I’m getting married!”

“I would _n-never_ come between you two,” Evan added, barely holding back his laughter. Jared’s frown deepened.

“You two are the worst,” Jared concluded. “Just for that, I’m making you have a winter wedding.” And, thanks to Jared, everyone had to listen to Alana’s tirade for the rest of the morning.

 

~~~

 

It was nearly noon by the time Evan was able to slip away from Alana and into the peaceful quiet of his room. He leaned against the back of the door and sighed. He had hoped that he and Connor could have had at least a day to themselves to just enjoy time alone. Evan realized, though, that they would have more than enough time alone. They would have _forever_ together. A serene smile spread itself onto his features and he let his eyes fall shut, imagining everything that lay before them.

A knock on the door, reverberating against his back, pulled him back into the present.

“Oh, u-uhm,” Evan stammered as he turned around and opened the door. Wendall stood there, just as stiff as usual, his hands behind his back, and Evan reflexively averted his gaze. “Uh, yes?”

“If I may, your highness, I would like to congratulate you on your engagement.” Wendall coughed and Evan looked up to find that something akin to an emotion was passing over the man’s face.  “I would also like to apologize. The letter I sent may have been somewhat hasty, your highness, and I completely understand if—”

“It’s f-fine,” Evan said quickly, overcoming the shock of Wendall expressing something more than threatening vibes in favor of stopping any guilt he may have been feeling in its tracks. “M-more than fine, really. You brought me back to Connor faster.” Evan laughed and went to pat Wendall on the shoulder briefly before he thought better of it and withdrew his hand. “I sh-should be thanking you.” Wendall blinked a few times before nodding.

“Very good, your highness,” he said finally. There was a pause as they both seemed to search for words. “Well, I must—”

“Yes, yeah, got it,” Evan stammered.

“Very good,” Wendall repeated before turning away. He stopped and looked back for a second. “I really am very happy for you, your highness.” Evan smiled and nodded.

“Call me Evan.”

Wendall smiled back and walked away. And, Evan realized, that was the first time he had ever seen Wendall smile. He closed his door and pumped his fist at the victory.

 

~~~

 

It was twilight when Evan finally snuck out of his room, careful to avoid any people that might be skulking around, eager to talk about wedding plans, and found himself gently knocking on Connor’s door. When there was no answer, he wandered out to the courtyard, then to their spot in the woods, then he peaked into hall after hall, until the only place he had left to check was the training grounds. He stopped in the stone archway when he saw Connor sparring with another man. 

He had never actually seen Connor fight before. He hadn’t expected it to be anything special. Fighting was fighting, right? Violent and brutal and basically all of the things Evan usually steered clear of. Of course, he’d had the opportunity to train when he was younger, but the few times he’d tried it, he had absolutely hated it and eventually his mother let him go without the lessons.

But watching Connor now, it was clear that there was more to fighting than what Evan had seen, something graceful and almost magical. There was something beautiful about the way he moved, all long lines and crisp motions. Evan didn’t need to know much about what Connor was doing to understand that every movement served a purpose. It was all so well thought out, but it was also impromptu, totally unchoreographed. It was _amazing_.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, just watching, but it was dark by the time Connor turned around and put his sparring sword down. And then he was taking off his shirt and, _oh_ , uh, yeah. That wasn’t a bad view.  It wasn’t until Connor’s eyes met his and a keen smirk formed on his features that Evan realized he had been staring and he quickly looked down at the ground.

“Well, hey there, Ev,” Connor called, mischief dripping from his words.

“Hello, hi, how are you?” Evan stammered, his eyes still fixed on the ground as though it were a much better view than—well, he decided not to think about that view even though it was still replaying itself in his mind.

“I’m great,” Connor purred, and his voice was much closer than before. Evan couldn’t not look up, and soon found himself face to face with a still-shirtless Connor.

“O-oh. Good,” Evan tried, doing his best to maintain what cool he had.

“I feel like we haven’t been able to talk since last night,” Connor admitted, though there was something flirtatious in his voice. He wrapped his arms around Evan’s waist and gently pulled him closer. “Fiancé,” Connor added, and before Evan could really think about how much he liked the sound of that (short answer: a lot), Connor’s lips were on his and he was shutting his eyes and leaning into the kiss and—

They had kissed before. They had definitely kissed before. In fact, Evan had a mental list going of every single time he had kissed Connor (or, more realistically, every single time _Connor_ had kissed _him_ ). It was sizeable, but not so long that Evan couldn’t quickly run through each instance and eventually come to the conclusion that this was a different type of kiss. Not technically speaking, because most of what was going on had previously been done at one point or another, but rather the feelings behind it were different. Or, well, more _intense_ , was the word Evan was going with. Less like it was a great self-contained instance and more like it was leading to something… more.

And then Connor was pulling away and giving him a look that said both “confused” and “concerned” and Evan knew he had maybe spent too much time overthinking things. Again.

“Ev, are you okay?” Connor asked.

“Totally! Yeah, yeah, you know me,” Evan bluffed, though even he could tell it sounded fake, “I’m _always_ okay.” Connor raised his eyebrows and smirked.

“I do know you,” he admitted, “and because I know you, I know that you are not _always_ okay.” His expression softened, and he brought a hand up to cup Evan’s cheek. “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

“Uhm,” Evan began, and he wished he could control his voice and stop it from sounding _so high_. “Well, it’s just, this—” Evan paused and motioned to Connor, especially focusing on the shirtless aspect of him, “—is a lot.” Connor frowned, and Evan immediately wanted to go find a cave to die in. “Not bad! It’s good. _Very_ good.” Evan cleared his throat and forced himself to look back into Connor’s eyes. “It’s just… a lot.” Connor hummed and he gave a gentle smile.

“I think I understand,” he said, then walked back to where he had dropped his shirt and put it back on. He turned to face Evan and, grinning, struck a pose and strut back. Evan couldn’t help laughing. 

“Do I still have to marry you?” he joked, and Connor looked aghast.

“Was that sarcasm from Prince Evan Hansen?” he gasped but couldn’t keep a straight face and found himself laughing with his fiancé. He put his arms around Evan’s waist again and put their foreheads together. “We’ll ease into things, mmkay?” 

“Okay,” Evan agreed.

“No more sensory overload,” Connor continued, smirk evident in his voice, “though it is _quite_ the compliment that my _smoking hot bod_ got you all flustered.”

Not only did Connor learn that day that Evan could be sarcastic; he also learned that Evan was not above a playful slap on the shoulder, even if he did spend the rest of the night apologizing (despite Connor’s roaring laughter).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEEEEEE I HOPE YOU LIKED THAT!!!
> 
> So again lmk what you think about maybe upping the rating and I'll take your thoughts into account + don't forget to kudos, comment, share, and all that fun stuff!!!! <3
> 
> LOVE YAAAAAA BYEEEEEEEE
> 
> OH WAIT HOLD ON I HAVE AN IDEA!! Because it's the two-week-aversary of this fic, maybe we should do something fun/special!! like a party kind of thing one day?? I can do short short drabbles, maybe we can do a chat or something? I don't know -- do you guys want to do anything? If so, TELL ME!!! Because you guys are honestly so awesome and I would love to interact with you more <3


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding plans! Part Numero Dos!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey friends!! I hope your day was as ~chill~ as mine was!! a little Jane the Virgin marathoning, a little mental story planning for your fav DEH fic, a little napping with my pups--all in all, a day well spent. OH, and you'll be VERY happy to hear (I hope) that...
> 
> WE HAVE A DISCORD SERVER!! okay maybe you're not suuuuper excited about that, BUT I AM!! there you can get updates, make playlists, add your comments and thoughts and any supplemental drabbles or fanart or headcanons or anything like that, and, most excitingly...
> 
> WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER/PARTY THING!! May 29-May 30, we're going to do a little celebration on the discord server, so I'd love to hear about what kinds of things you'd like to do, other than short requests, questions, collective fangirling/fanboying/fan-ing? I'm not sure what the alternative verb would be for that BUT THAT because we are all inclusive 
> 
> y'all, I'm just really amped to hang out with you on the server and hear from you, and it doesn't even just have to be about this fic, like it can be about dear Evan hansen in general, I'd just love to have a little corner of the interwebs where we can hang out and talk and all that <3 
> 
> DISCORD SERVER LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB (I'm zeta, btw)
> 
> FINAL NOTE BEFORE YOU CAN GO READ: I still need to hear a little more feedback about the potentially M/E content that has been somewhat requested and that I'm somewhat considering, so if you could do that (either here or on my Tumblr or ON THE DISCORD SERVER MAYBE???) that would be awesome!!
> 
> oK GO READ!!

It was one of the first warm days that heralded the start of summer. Outside, the sun was bright, birds were singing and flitting from tree to tree, children were playing, and memories were being made. Inside, however, tension hung in the air. In a sparsely furnished room, Evan was wringing his hands and Connor was tapping his foot. They sat beside each other, facing a tidy white desk, waiting. 

“It’s really nothing to worry about,” Connor stated, even though his nervous tick was acting up. Evan gave him an unconvinced look. “Okay, maybe it’s a little worrying. But, nothing _bad_ is going to happen.” Evan silently weighed the truthfulness of that statement in his mind but stopped when the door behind them opened. They both turned in their seats to find a smiling Alana.

“Hello!” she greeted cheerily, oblivious to the uneasy atmosphere. She rounded the desk and took a seat before them. “Sorry I’m late! You know how Jared can be.”

“That’s okay!” Evan said quickly. Alana tilted her head and studied him for a moment before pulling out a sheet of paper.

“Evan, Connor, you don’t have to be anxious! I’m here to _help_. I’m going to make sure everything is perfect,” she assured. Her smile eased their nerves a little and they nodded. Satisfied, she dipped her quill in ink and began writing. “Great! Now, the first thing we need to do a set a date. Like I said, autumn is the optimal time. Perhaps the end of September?”

“That sounds gr—” Connor began, but noticed Evan squirming in his seat. “What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing,” Evan lied. Alana and Connor exchanged a look and seemed to decide together to wait until Evan told the truth. After a moment more of uncomfortable silence, Evan sighed. “My birthday is at the end of September,” he mumbled.

“And that’s... bad?” Alana asked, confused. “It could be your birthday present!”

“It’s never been a very good day,” Evan answered, his voice even quieter, his arms crossed around himself and his eyes downcast. It didn’t take much for Connor to put two and two together: Evan hadn’t had friends most of his life before he’d come to the Kleinman kingdom and he’d probably never had a very good birthday. Connor felt a tug at his heart and was out of his seat and kneeling down before Evan in an instant. 

“I’m sorry, Ev,” he said, looking up into Evan’s blue eyes and putting a hand on his cheek. “We’ll make it a good day together,” he assured before standing up again and turning to Alana, “but we won’t make it the wedding day.” 

“Understood,” Alana agreed, scribbling something on her paper. “October, then,” she decided. Connor looked to Evan, who gave a small smile and nodded. “Perfect. That gives us lots of time to plan and get everything together,” she said, then looked between them, “and for you to figure out what’s going to happen after you get married.”

“Right.” It hadn’t been lost on Connor that he had some decisions to make. There wasn’t exactly any love lost between him and his parents (his father, mostly), but he did feel an obligation to his people. Still, he knew that Evan had an obligation to an entire kingdom, and the queen wouldn’t be able to rule forever. Eventually, Evan would become king… and so would Connor, presumably. He felt a lurch of fear in his core. He hadn’t really thought that far ahead before. Was he ready to be responsible for that many people? All he’d done for his people was steal and redistribute wealth. There was no way—

“Connor,” Alana interrupted, her voice sharp, but still concerned. Connor realized that Evan was looking at him, obviously worried. “Like I said, you have time to figure all of that out.” Connor nodded and tried to give Evan a reassuring smile. Evan didn’t seem convinced but turned his attention back to Alana anyway. “What you don’t have time for is figuring out the guest list. Connor, I’m assuming all of your family will be invited: Zoe, Lady Cynthia, Lord Larry?” 

“Uhm,” Connor said without meaning to. Alana and Evan both noticed his apprehension and he knew there was no way out of explaining. “Definitely yes to Zoe. I don’t think I can get out of inviting my mom,” he laughed, then frowned. “My dad… I don’t really want him there.”

“Is this because…?” Evan began, letting Connor fill in the gaps.

“Yeah.” He paused and considered before drawing a shaky breath. “But, my mom would never come without him. So I guess we’ll invite them both.”

“Connor, we don’t have to,” Evan protested, but Connor shook his head.

“We do. Not for my dad, but for my mom,” he admitted. “She’s no saint, but she never did anything like what my father did. I know she’d want to be here, and she doesn’t deserve to be left out.” Evan looked like he wanted to argue but nodded.

“Okay,” he agreed. 

“Okay,” Alana echoed. “Didn’t realize wedding planning would be such a minefield with you two,” she chuckled, before looking up with wide eyes and an embarrassed smile. “Not that I’m not enjoying it or happy to do it.”

“It’s okay, Alana,” Connor assured, laughing. “You’re not wrong.”

“Good. Now, Evan. Who are you inviting?”

“My mom,” Evan stated simply, and thought Connor didn’t know of anyone else to add to his list, it was clear that the prince wanted to say more.

“And?” Connor urged. Evan looked between Alana and Connor nervously.

“Iwanttherestofmykingdomtobethere,” he supplied all in one breath. When he was met with silence, Evan sighed and explained. “A-after seeing them all and m-meeting them, I f-feel bad doing a-anything like this without them. I w-was… absent… for s-so long.”

“I understand,” Connor said, and he did. He loved Evan all the more for that kind of sentiment.

“Er, I’m not sure everyone could make it. Or fit here, for that matter,” Alana ventured cautiously. Evan frowned, but nodded. _That just won’t do_ , Connor decided.

“Let’s get married in your kingdom,” he suggested, turning excitedly to Evan, whose eyes widened in shock. He was smiling, though, and that was all that mattered to Connor.

“But Jared said—” Evan started, but Connor shook his head.

“Who _cares_ what Jared says?” he laughed.

“Seconded,” Alana chimed in. Evan turned to her, confused.

“You’re okay with this?” he asked, disbelief evident in his voice.

“Well, it’ll be more difficult since I’ve never been to your kingdom,” she admitted, but she brightened, “but it’s a challenge, and I love a challenge. And besides, this is your wedding. If you two want to do it with all of the Hansen kingdom, then that’s how you ought to do it.” Evan looked about ready to cry he was so happy. He looked to Connor with a grin.

“You’re really sure about this? What about your people?” he asked, and Connor shrugged.

“I know of a prince around these parts who has a lot of money that can be stolen and used to help with transportation,” he joked, but his features softened a moment later. “Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, Ev. And besides, from what you’ve told me, the forests around your palace are gorgeous around that time of year.”

“They are,” Evan conceded, smiling.

From then on out, wedding planning wasn’t so difficult. And if Alana slipped a note into the Murphy invitation that strongly advised against Larry’s coming, well, everyone else had plausible deniability, just the way she liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww look at my babies, planning a wedding <3 also, "lord Larry" has zero ring to it hahahaha
> 
> OK TLDR FOR THE BEGINNING NOTES: 
> 
> 1\. DISCORD LINK: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> 2\. SLEEPOVER/PARTY ON THAT SERVER ON MAY 29-30 + I NEED PARTY IDEAS
> 
> 3\. M/E CONTENT?? CHECK YES OR NO
> 
>  
> 
> thanks again for your continued support and I have not stopped feeling shocked and lucky since day one when this super took off <3 
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE, BOOKMARK, !!!HEAD TO DISCORD!!!!, ALL THAT FUN STUFF
> 
> LOVE YAAAAAAAAA


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An invitation ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS A LITTLE LATE, I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH THESIS PLANNING!!! 
> 
> If you haven't already checked out the discord server, pLEASE DO!! we've already got a few very fun people one the channel, myself included ;) and we would love more!!
> 
> SAVE THE DATE: May 29-30 (3PM-1:30 AM HST, 7PM-5:30 AM CST, 9PM-7:30 AM EST) is the sleepover!! and you'll need to be on discord for that!!!
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> I've decided that IF I DO create some M/E content, then it will NOT be included in this fic here. INSTEAD, I will create a separate "fic" that's basically just going to be a one-shot of it, essentially a chapter-long kind of thing, and I'll put the link here and maybe connect the two. THIS IS BECAUSE a lot of you came into this with the T rating and I want to respect that and not like change things up on you suddenly <3 so if I do end up creating any of that content, I'll let y'all know!!
> 
> OK GO READ AND ENJOYYYYYYY

_Prince Evan Hansen_

_and_

_Sir Connor Murphy_

_formally request your presence_

_at their marriage_

_in the Hansen Kingdom_

_on October 9 th_

_The ceremony will begin at 9 in the morning_

_with celebrations and merriment to follow._

_~~~_

 

Queen Heidi Hansen knew exactly what was in the contents of the letter the messenger had handed to her from the moment she saw him ride into the palace grounds. She flipped the pressed seal—which was a marbled mixture of royal blue and regal grey—and read with glee. She had known all along. Sort of. Mostly. It was meant to be. She didn’t even need to meet this Connor boy to know that he was perfect for Evan; the way her son talked about him was enough for her to realize that they were deeply and truly in love.

She sighed and held the letter to her heart. She had had no idea when she had sent her son to the Kleinman kingdom that any of this—from Evan and Connor’s union to Evan’s newfound confidence and voice—would happen, but she was so pleased that it had. And _perhaps_ she had heard some reports of a very handsome bandit who _perhaps_ resembled a knight she had met when he was just a baby, and  _perhaps_ she had put two and two together, but that was all beside the point. And, moreover, none of her informants would ever tell.

 

~~~

 

“Larry,” Cynthia called, her voice somewhat shaky. _Of course_ the invitation was welcome, and the news was absolutely fantastic, but the attached warning against her husband’s coming was… not ideal.

“What is it?” he answered from the other room. 

“You ought to come in here,” she decided.

“I’m shaving.” She could hear the sound of the blade gliding against his skin. “What is it?”

“It’s Connor,” she cautioned. When Larry hummed, waiting for more, she took a deep breath. “He’s marrying a prince. And you’ve been instructed not to come." 

Cynthia didn’t need to see her husband to understand what happened next. The blade stopped in its path. There was a clinking as something—probably the blade—fell into the sink. Overlaying this was a string of particularly colorful curse words. Yes, this had gone about as well as it could have. Cynthia waited patiently on the edge of the bed as she waited for her husband to wash up. When he entered the room, he was holding a cloth against his cheek where he must had nicked himself and wearing a grimace.

“I’m his father,” he declared, “I’m going, whether he wants me to or not.” 

And Cynthia knew, after years of marriage, that there was no arguing with that tone of voice.

 

~~~

 

Zoe was perched in one of the stone archways, reading a book, when Connor found her. She didn’t look up, just held her finger up to signal him to wait. He smirked, but took a seat at the other end of the arch and watched her patiently. After a moment, she dog-eared the corner of the page and looked up.

“Yes, brother mine?”

“How do you like home?” he asked.

“Home? Like, where we grew up?” He nodded and she considered. “It’s home. It’s always been home for me. At this rate, what with the nonexistent queue of suitors waiting for my hand, it will always be my home.” Connor frowned. 

“What about Alana?” At this, Zoe blushed, and he chuckled. “Oh, I know _that_ look. Zoe had a _crush_.”

“ _Shut up!_ ” she scolded, reaching out to push his shoulder.

“I only speak the truth,” he laughed, but grew serious. “Really, though, there’s something between you and Alana, right?”

“Maybe?” Zoe shrugged. “Sometimes I think so, other times I’m not so sure. With all the wedding plans, I’ve barely seen her.”

“Sorry my wedding is getting in the way,” Connor teased.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” she stated, crossing her arms. 

“Yeah, I do. Maybe just be a little more active?” he suggested. “Maybe Alana is one of those people who knows everything except what’s right in front of her.”

“Maybe,” Zoe conceded. They spent a moment in thoughtful silence before she looked back up at him. “So, why are you asking me if I like home?”

“Right. Well, I’m getting married—”

“—as everyone in two kingdoms knows by now—”

“—which means that I’ll become a prince,” Connor concluded shakily. “So I’ll be in the Hansen kingdom. And I was feeling guilty about leaving our homelands behind and trying to figure out who in the world would take over for me,” he paused and smiled, “until I realized I knew _exactly_ who to choose.”

“Who?” Zoe asked. Connor smiled wider and it dawned on Zoe’s features. “Wait. _Me?_ ” Connor nodded. “But why?” 

“For one, you’ve lived there longer than me. You never moonlighted as a bandit—that I know of.” He shrugged. “And besides, you’re a much better leader than I am, and _way_ smarter.”

“You’re not wrong,” she teased, but it was only halfhearted. “I’m just not sure I’m the right person.”

“Of course you are, Zoe. I can’t think of anyone more responsible and considerate than you.” He gave her a smile and his best puppy dog eyes. “So, what do you say?” For a moment, she seemed to turn the thought over in her mind. Connor was sure that she’d say no.

“Okay,” she said instead, her expression full of determination and a strength Connor knew was inside of her always. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Good!”

“But just to be clear,” she said firmly, “you’re going to make an amazing leader, Connor. I know the whole prince thing is probably a little daunting, especially because we never grew up thinking we’d really get that far, but I have complete faith in you. The fact that you became a robber to help your people, or that you never pressured Evan to put his people in danger with our war—that all says a lot about how great you’re going to be.”

“I guess,” Connor shrugged. As usual, Zoe saw right through him. Still, he didn’t think—

“Get out of your head,” Zoe commanded, giving him a gentle smile. “You and Evan are a duo that is equally adorable and intimidating. Anyone that goes up against either of you is an idiot, honestly. Together, you can do anything, even if that means running a kingdom.”

And, as usual, Connor couldn’t argue that logic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWWWW MY CHILDREN <3 
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> SLEEPOVER: MAY 29-30 on discord + I need ideas so tell me what you want to see!!
> 
> OK KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, ALL THAT!! THANKS SO MUCH!!! LOVE YAAAAAAAAA


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lessons to be learned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO this chapter is kind of short and I apologize but I was out literally all day today until I got home and immediately wrote this in the past 45 minutes and I'm sort of just to exhausted to write anything else that's coherent hahaha. SO, SORRY!! but on the plus side, I did get to watch Solo and yes, I do indeed have a new ship to be shipping because of that movie hahahaha 
> 
> as I've said a few times now, DISCORD LINKIE IS HERE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> Sleepover Party is May 29-May 30 on that server! there are a few of you there but I KNOW THERE'S MORE OF YOU OUT THERE SO HEAD ON OVER!!! also, PLEASE GIVE ME IDEAS FOR WHAT TO DO FOR THIS PARTY?!?! LIKE WHAT DO YOU ALL WANT TO SEE BECAUSE IT'S MOSTLY A PARTY FOR YOU ALL <3
> 
> oK!! GO READ!!

“So let me get this straight,” Jared began, strolling into Evan’s room without permission and plopping down on Evan’s bed, “you’ve decided  _not_ to get married in _my_ castle, which is basically the best castle ever?”

“Hi Jared,” Evan greeted, summoning his most annoyed expression (or, rather, his least nervous/apologetic expression) and turning in his seat to face the intruder.

“Whatever, hi.” Jared waved a piece of parchment at Evan, who realized that it was the wedding invitation. “Care to explain?” Evan took a deep breath and nodded.

“I decided,” he said evenly, which was a great start if he could say so himself, “that I wanted my people to be at the wedding.”

“Your people? Like, your kingdom?” Evan nodded. “ _All_ of them?” Evan nodded again. “Oh my _god!_ ” he laughed.

“What?” Evan asked, defensive and suddenly a little insecure. Jared’s bravado had a way of doing that to Evan.

“You’re ridiculous,” Jared concluded, still laughing. “And,” he added, growing serious, “you’re going to make me look bad.”

“L-look, Jared, it’s not about your castle. You have a v-very—” Evan tried, but Jared was talking over him in an instant.

“No, yeah, I know that,” he scoffed. “If I get married and don’t invite all of _my_ kingdom then I’m going to look bad and it’ll be a whole _thing_ so—” Jared shrugged “—guess that’ll be happening whenever I get around to marrying someone.”

“Oh,” was all Evan could think to say.

“Yeah, way to upstage me with your kindness and humility or whatever.”

“Oh,” Evan said again, more confused than before. “Thank you?”

“Mhm,” Jared hummed, and then he was leaving the room as quickly as he had stormed in. “At least,” he called from the hallway, “I don’t have to deal with you and Connor _consumma_ —OUCH!”

As if to answer the questions that bloomed in Evan’s mind, Connor walked in with a triumphant grin.

“Hello, fiancé,” Connor purred, giving Evan a chaste kiss on the cheek and taking Jared’s spot on Evan’s bed. “How was that visit from evil incarnate?” 

“Strange,” Evan decided. “I think he actually said something nice to me.”

“Very odd and slightly worrying,” Connor agreed with a contemplative nod. His smile was back in seconds, though. “Other than that encounter, how had the rest of your day been?”

“Not bad.” Connor’s grin widened and mischief crept in. “And yours?" 

“Good,” the knight said, standing, “but it’s about to get much better.” Evan raised his eyebrows in a silent question. “Come with me,” Connor instructed, holding his hand out to Evan, and of course the prince couldn’t resist that. 

After a short walk, the pair found themselves in front of the doors of the ballroom where they had danced together on the first night. Evan opened his mouth, ready to ask for more information, but the smile on Connor’s lips—content and warm—stopped him. He trusted Connor. He could make it through whatever was behind those doors because Connor believed he could.

What that was, it turned out, was a ballroom empty apart from a small group of musicians positioned in the corner of the hall. Connor led Evan down and into the center of the room before putting his hands out as an invitation. More than that, it was an invitation to _dance_.

“On that first night, I promised that I’d teach you to dance one day,” he explained. “I figured today would be a good day for that.”

Evan stood speechless for a moment. He remembered that promise well. For the first time in his life, someone was planning a future with him. Connor had seen something in Evan that made him want to know him more, to dance with him, to write him, to kiss him, to _marry_ him, and it wasn’t until that day that Evan started seeing that something within himself. Maybe the romantic in him wanted to say that everything had changed when Connor first robbed him, but, really, it was then. It was that moment that changed it all and set them on this path.

“Or not,” Connor was saying quickly, scratching the back of his head nervously. “We can do this another day or never, never is fine, never is—” Evan smiled to himself before kissing Connor soundly. When he pulled back, Connor was smiling too. 

“It’s perfect,” Evan said, and Connor beamed. “I’ll probably step on your feet a lot though.”

And Evan did, at least twelve times, but Connor didn’t mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW WAS THAT?? look at my babies, coming full circle. jeez, I feel like mushu from mulan every time I end one of these fics ahahahaha
> 
> DISCORD LINK: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB + Sleepover party = May 29-30
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, ALL OF THAT! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT, IT REALLY MEANS SO MUCH TO ME AND EVERY NEW COMMENT THAT I GET INSPIRES ME TO KEEP WRITING <3 LOVE YAAAAAA


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My best boy and his best boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EYYOOOO back from the mini hiatus with another short chapter. Yesterday there was some ~drama~ and tonight my keyboard decided to stop using the letter "r" properly, so I could only write this little bit before I hit the point where I would thROW MY COMPUTER OUT A WINDOW IF I HAD TO TYPE THE LETTER R ONE MORE TIME WITH ISSUES. tomorrow I'm going to see the Mac folk and hopefully they'll fix it ugh
> 
> ANYWHO, please head over to discooooord because we've all been having TONS of fun there and it's been the best and it will continue to be the best and THE SLEEPOVER PARTY IS TOMORROW!!!
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> ok!! go enjoy!!!!

“Question,” Connor stated, letting himself into Jared’s ridiculously large room and plopping down on a couch. Jared swiveled around in his chair, nonplussed, and looked back at Connor with his usual smirk. 

“Answer.”

“Funny,” the knight deadpanned, crossing his arms. “Look, you’re an asshole—”

“—That curiously enough does not sound like a question—”

“— _but_ we’ve also been friends for a while now,” Connor finished.

“’Friends’ is a strong word,” Jared teased, but something in his expression softened. “I suppose we have known each other a while, though.” 

“You’ve also let me hang out in your castle way longer than I needed to be here,” Connor added.

“Yes, yes, I’m very kind,” Jared agreed.

“And you didn’t put me in prison for robbing you. Or, at least not for more than a day,” Connor laughed. “ _And_ I know you made the situation seem more serious than it was so that Wendall would write to Evan.” Jared narrowed his eyes.

“Okay, all this praise is making me suspicious,” he said, his voice full of skepticism. “What’re you playing at, Murphy?” Connor smiled sweetly.

“Oh, nothing in particular,” he mused, stretching out and lounging on the couch. “Just wondering if you’d like to be my best man?” Jared stared in silence for a moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. Then he started laughing. And when he noticed that Connor was still smiling the same smile, he stopped.

“Wait. You’re _serious_?” he asked. Connor nodded. “But… you _hate_ me.”

“Eh, ‘hate’ is a strong word,” Connor joked. “Jared, you and I, we don’t really _do_ this friendship thing like other people. We steal and imprison, but it’s all jokes.” He sat up and leaned forward a little. “I’m going to be honest and then we’re never going to speak of this again. I was thirteen when I came here, and I was in no shape to be a knight or to be hanging out in court. But you came right up to me, punched my shoulder, and told me you wanted to fight me,” he laughed, “which turned out to be how you make friends. And even when all the other little squires went home to their families, you _commanded_ me to stay here because you thought I needed more training. Jared, you’re the closest thing I have to a brother. And I’d love for you to stand by me on one of the most important days of my life.”

Jared’s expression had been inscrutable through the duration of Connor’s speech, and when the knight finished, he merely crossed his arms and sat back. He squinted at Connor. 

“This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for stealing from me,” the prince warned, but he couldn’t hide the smile growing on his lips. “And to be clear, you really _did_ need the extra training.”

“Whatever you say, bud,” Connor laughed, standing. Jared stood, too, and glanced uncomfortably around the room.

“Should we…?”

Connor was confused for a moment before he realized what Jared was asking. With a grin, he pulled the prince into a tight hug. When he let go, they both looked down at the ground.

“I should—”

“Yeah, I’m busy, go be gross with Evan,” Jared commanded, sitting back down in his chair. Connor was nearly out the door when he added on very quietly. “Thanks, buddy.” Connor smiled wider and went on his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWWWW MY BOOOOOYSSSSS <3 
> 
> y'all I realized I maybe made it seem like jared is someone to be hated and like ok he is an asshole but like an asshole that you can be friends with, ya knooooow?? yeah. YEAH. ok.
> 
> DISCORD LINKIIIIIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> srsly guys, we're all having so much fun, defs come around <3
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, ALL THAT FUN STUFF, LOVE YAAAAAAA!!


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best boy and his best boy part 2!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL they couldn't fix my keyboard without sending it off so I have to wait until after I get back from my trip BUT FOR NOW I have a bluetooth keyboard to bring around with me and so here is another chapter!! at a normal length!!
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/A7NbcNp
> 
> SLEEPOVER PARTY IS TONIGHT AND GOING ON RIGHT NOW!!!! A BUNCH OF PEOPLE HAD TO POP OFF BUT COME JOIN US!!!!!
> 
> ok!! go read and enjoy!!!!!

It was a warm summer night with skies clear enough for the stars to shine overhead as far as the eye could see. On a night so beautiful, it was impossible for Connor and Evan to stay cooped up inside. And so, under the soft glow of moonlight, they sat in a clearing surrounded by nature.

“Have you chosen your best man yet?” Connor began, taking the prince’s hands in his own. He could feel Evan stiffen.

“Uh, we’re doing that?” he asked nervously. 

“I figured we were.”

“Oh.” Evan took a deep breath. “I have not.”

“That’s okay, Ev,” Connor said softly. “Do you want some help?” Evan nodded quickly, and the knight laughed. “Okay, well, any ideas?”

“I don’t really…” Evan started, but stopped that thought before it could grow. “Maybe Jared?”

“Oh.” Connor cleared his throat and looked askance. “I, uhm, already asked him?”

“Oh,” Evan agreed. While he didn’t really know of any alternatives, he wasn’t actually so let down. Sure, he had known Jared for a while, and lately Jared hadn’t been so bad, but they’d never been very close. They still barely knew each other. It was probably for the best. “That’s okay,” he decided. 

“Are you sure?” When Evan looked to his fiancé— _gosh_ , he still wasn’t used to how _amazing_ that sounded—he found that Connor’s expression was pure concern, with something deeper below it. _Love_ , he realized.

“Yes,” Evan nodded. “I’ll figure it out.” Connor smiled, but there confusion lingered on his features. “What?”

“I thought you would be freaking out,” the knight admitted, laughing, “but you actually seem calm about this.”

And, surprisingly, Evan _was_ calm about it. Sure, some corner of his mind was silently freaking out about the possibilities of who his best man could be at this point—who was even left?—but, well, he was sitting here in his favorite place with his favorite person and they were going to get _married_ soon. Everything else could go wrong, but as long as he had Connor, it would be right.

“What’re you thinking about?” Connor asked, his voice quiet and gentle as he put his hand to Evan’s cheek.

“You,” Evan murmured. Connor smiled and hummed. 

“Tell me more.”

“You’re the reason I’m calm,” Evan confessed. “Yeah, I’m stressed about every little thing that could go wrong, even though I’m sure that Alana would murder someone to ensure the wedding goes as planned,” he laughed, and Connor did too, “but that doesn’t matter. I’m sure I’ll stutter on during our vows. I’m sure my mother will tell embarrassing stories about me. I’m sure Jared will get ugly drunk.” The pair giggled, considering the disaster of a wedding that might lie before them. “ _But_ , none of that matters because…” Evan paused, took another deep breath, and looked into Connor’s eyes. “Because all that matters about that day is you. Because if you’re happy, then I’m _ecstatic_. Because I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Connor said, almost reflexively, and Evan loved that it had become something commonplace between them. “I love you so much, Ev,” he repeated, his voice tight, and pulled Evan into a snug embrace. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he whispered, before pulling away, a content smile on his lips. “How did I ever get so lucky?”

“I think it started with a robbery,” Evan grinned.

 

~~~

 

“So, Evan,” Alana started, strutting into his room, eyes fixed on her the sheet of paper in her hands, and he had to wonder if there was a sign on his door saying, “Please come in, I’m not busy at all.”

“Y-yes?” he asked instead, thinking better of doing anything to anger the person in charge of the wedding. 

“Connor has his best man,” she stated, finally looking up at him. “Who’s yours?”

Evan had known that he needed to decide on a best man. He was going to work on that, he was, but then Connor had _such_ nice eyes and it was all very distracting and here he was. He had no idea. Jared was taken, not that he was really Evan’s first choice. Then again, Evan _had_ no first choice because he didn’t really have any options and—

“Evan?” Alana interrupted, and he practically fell out of his seat. “I’m guessing that’s a no based on the glazed look you got in your eyes.” She frowned and took a seat on his bed. “What’s wrong?” 

“N-nothing, it’s—” The look in her eyes told Evan that anything but the full truth was not an option. “I don’t have anyone,” he said quietly. 

“Of course you do!” she countered, boisterous as ever. “You have Jared and Zoe and me and—”

“That’s it!” Evan exclaimed, surprising even himself. He gave a nervous laugh and leaned forward in his seat. “ _You_ can be my best man!” Alana opened her mouth but found that her usual ability to reply readily was gone, so she closed it. She tried again but was just as successful. 

“Uhm,” she finally said, “well… apart from the whole gender thing, I’m planning your wedding. I can’t be your best man!”

“Wh-who cares about the gender thing?” Evan answered, more set on the idea than before. _Of course_ it was Alana. She had been on his side from the start, befriending him and defending him. He hadn’t had to prove himself or do much of anything to gain her as an ally, or as a wedding planning for that matter. “And, besides, if a- _anyone_ can plan a wedding and be in it, too, it’s you.” 

“You’re not wrong,” she admitted, leaning back and contemplating. There was a long silence as Evan eagerly awaited her answer and she considered in what seemed like great depth. Finally she sat forward and gave a sharp nod. “Okay.” 

“Okay?”

“Okay,” she repeated, smiling. “I’ll do it.” Evan opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a finger. “One condition.” 

“ _Anything_ ,” Evan answered, completely truthful.

“I get to pick my own dress,” she declared, crossing her arms as though she still had to try and convince Evan.

“Alana,” Evan began, laughing, “you’re a-already picking _my_ clothes, and Connor’s, and probably everyone else that you can convince.”

“Is that a yes, Evan Hansen?” she asked, her tone still just as decisive, but her lips quirking upwards.

“Of course, best _woman_ ,” he agreed. The pair grinned at each other and, for the first time since they got into the nitty gritty of planning the wedding, Evan felt that maybe—just _maybe_ —it might go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awwwww my babies are ready for their weddingggggggg
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/A7NbcNp
> 
> COME JOIN THE PARTAAAAAAY
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, ALL OF THAT, AND THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!!! LOVE YAAAAAA!!


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look a little closer, and there's a crack in the wall
> 
>  
> 
> (lyrics from the amazing Hadestown that you all should listen to ASAP)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY!! So the sleepover partayyyy was last night, and it was so fun!! I loved meeting so many of you there!!!!! For those who missed it, DON'T WORRY!! The discord is still up and active and EVERY NIGHT CAN BE A PARTY WITH ENOUGH FOLKS!!! so definitely head there!!
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> AS A NOTE, I leave for my travels very soon, so updates might be slow for the next month or so while I'm on the road, or they might stop altogether until mid- to late July. SO IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but there's not helping it haha 
> 
> OK GO READ AND ENJOOOOOY!!!

And just like that, summer began to fly by. Alana spent all her time planning the wedding, Zoe split her time mooning over Alana and bothering her brother, and Jared… well, Jared was Jared.

“You robbed me again!” Jared shouted, though it took a moment for him to emerge from the trees circling the clearing where Connor and Evan sat. He looked perturbed, but that could likely be attributed to the fact that he had trekked into the forest.

“What in the _world_ are you talking about?” Connor teased, batting his eyelashes. Evan stifled a laugh.

“How did you get past the extra guards?” Jared asked, ignoring Connor’s act.

“They kept going while I stopped the carriage that was behind them,” Connor shrugged. “They’re not very observant.” Jared scowled.

“Idiots!” he growled but plopped down on the grass nearby anyway.

“Think of it this way,” Connor began, grinning, “I’m helping you realize how moronic most of your guards are.”

“Thanks,” Jared deadpanned, sarcasm dripping from his words. There was a beat before he gave a huff and looked between the two. “So. Marriage, huh?”

“Uh…” Connor looked to Evan, who shrugged. “Yeah.”

“After that, though,” Jared started, something cautious in his voice, “what’re you going to do?”

“Well…” Connor started, unsure really of what to say next. He glanced at Evan.

“I-I guess we’ll live in my kingdom,” the prince said slowly, looking for confirmation from Connor.

“Yeah, well, duh,” Jared scoffed, leaning back in the grass and sunning himself. “What else?”

“We haven’t really talked about it, Jared,” Connor answered. Truthfully, he was nervous about what would come from the conversation. Hell, he was nervous about what would actually happen once they were married. And it wasn’t Evan, _of course_ it wasn’t Evan. It was the idea of ruling. Sure, Zoe had given him her vote of confidence, but it wasn’t that easy. Sure, he’d been raised to eventually rule over his family’s tiny bit of land within the Kleinman kingdom, but… ruling an entire kingdom? He was out of his depth.

Jared hummed knowingly, and Connor was sure that Jared saw right through him. Evan, on the other hand, was worrying his lip and staring down at the ground.

“I guess,” Connor said slowly, picking his words carefully because he knew he wasn’t getting out of this, “that I’ll do what’s required of me. Anything that Evan wants, I will… do my best.” He was all too conscious of both of the princes’ eyes on him, and suddenly it was just _too much_.

Suddenly, a frightening thought flashed through his mind. He wasn’t ready for this.

“I have to go,” he mumbled, standing and walking away before anyone could comment. When he reluctantly glanced back, the terrified expression Evan wore was enough to knock the wind from his lungs. He looked away and walked on.

 

~~~

 

The ceiling above Evan’s bed had exactly 43 pock marks. Evan knew this because he had counted each one. Twice. He was debating on going a third round. Instead, he groaned and rolled over in bed.

Evan was thankful that his nerves rarely kept him from a good night’s sleep. Generally, he was too exhausted from worrying all day to do anything but fall right to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Tonight, though, his mind was pacing and his heart was racing. He wished he could turn it all off, but it was no use. He’d been like this long enough to know that he just had to deal with the anxiety.

More than anything, he wished he could turn back time to that afternoon, wished he would have followed Connor and talked to him. But he was terrified then. He was still terrified. The way Connor had almost physically recoiled into himself as he tried to answer Jared question was horrifying, and then he had just gotten up and left. Did Connor not think he was cut out to be a prince, to one day be a king?

Suddenly, a frightening thought flashed through his mind. What if Connor _wasn’t_ cut out for it? 

He dismissed it almost as quickly as it had come, but he couldn’t outright forget about it. After all, his life and decisions weren’t just his; he was in charge of an entire kingdom. He had to do what was best for them, even in marriage. Still, it was ridiculous to think that Connor would be bad for them. He was the one who stole from the rich to give to the poor. He was the one who went into battle and risked life and limb to protect those who couldn’t fight for themselves.

 _Of course_ Connor would be a great ruler. And that was just on his own. Together, Evan knew that they were a great pair. They made each other better. When one fell, the other held them upright.

Unfortunately, even though Evan had easily convinced himself, he knew that Connor was stubborn in his self-doubt. As much as he hated to admit it, no speech he could give would convince Connor, at least not on its own.

He needed help.

Which was how he found himself knocking on Jared’s door in the dead of night, tapping his foot nervously. Jared opened the door, blinking and groggy.

“Evan?” he asked. “What the hell do you want?”

“I need your help,” Evan declared. Jared sighed and nodded to himself.

“With Connor?” The way he said it implied that he already knew and was maybe just as worried as Evan, which was shocking and comforting all the same. Evan nodded. “Thought so.” Jared opened his door and returned to the darkness of his room. “Come in.”

Evan took a few cautious steps in before candlelight flooded dim light into the room and illuminated Jared’s features in the darkness. Evan closed the door behind him and took a seat on the couch, still tapping his foot. Perhaps it was a trick of the light, but he thought he saw a sad smile flicker on Jared’s lips. 

“This isn’t going to be easy,” Jared warned, setting the candle down on a table in the center of the room and slumping into the chair at his desk. Evan nodded grimly. “We need to deal with this carefully and quickly. The longer he thinks about it, the colder his feet will be, you understand?” Evan nodded again. “Good. Now, we need a plan, and we need reinforcements." 

“Like Zoe and Alana?” Evan guessed, but Jared shook his head.

“Think bigger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS WAS THAT SOME ANGST???? MY BAAAAAAAD!!!!
> 
> ok but I HAD to round back to this because we all know Connor wouldn't just be like "it's fine!" because he's That Guy. ALSO!!! looking to develop the jared/Evan friendship more so look forward to that!! ^_^ ALSO!!! WHO COULD THESE REINFORCEMENTS BE?????????????? *evil laughter because I know*
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE, BOOKMARK, YOU KNOW THE DRILL!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT, IT MEANS SO MUCH!!!! LOVE YAAAAAA


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does anybody have a map?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! SO WE HAD ANGST LAST TIME! AND I HATE MYSELF BECAUSE HEY IT'S NOT YET RESOLVED! BUT we do get a look at the broader world away from the Kleinman and Hansen kingdoms, so that's FUN! 
> 
> Y'ALL!! IF YOU AREN'T ON DISCORD!! JOIN THE PARTY!! It's awesome and it's so much fun <3 
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> OK!!! ENJOY!!!

Jared had never been much of a fan of his father’s royalty training crash courses, but he distinctly remembered the day his father sat him down at a large round table and explained that the Kleinman and Hansen kingdoms were only two of the many kingdoms. _One day_ , his father had told him, _you’ll meet all of their rulers and learn what makes each kingdom unique._  

The young prince had rolled his eyes and impatiently waited until he could go outside to spar or ride his horse, but years later he would reluctantly have to admit to himself that his father had been right. Then, and only then, did Jared start paying attention.

Evan hadn’t had to learn as much as he did, Jared knew, but that was because the Hansen kingdom was secluded in the mountains behind the Kleinman kingdom, out of reach to the other kingdoms. Sure, Evan probably knew the basics of geography, but Jared had spent years observing, studying, and learning—not that he would let on his interest to anyone.

Except, well, now he was. He had a million excuses at the ready, the best probably being that Connor had roped him into being involved into this wedding, so he couldn’t just let it fall apart, but he knew it was more than that. He would never say it out loud, but Connor and Evan were his friends, and he wanted them to be happy, even if that meant pulling out his secret arsenal of political know-how.

More than that, he knew that Evan and his kingdom wouldn’t be able to stay out of the limelight for very long. If it had been anyone else planning the wedding, they might have kept it small, but Alana was their wedding planner, which meant that she would have invited everyone else. Like it or not, Evan would soon be playing with the big boys, and Jared knew he couldn’t do it on his own.

“Before I can help you,” Jared sighed, leading Evan down the hallway and into the war room, the official one with the giant map where his father had brought him years ago, “you’ll need to understand a few things about the other kingdoms." 

“The other kingdoms?” Evan asked, his voice rising in pitch. “B-but why?”

“Because Connor is ridiculous, and he’ll need some actual proof that a match like yours might actually work.” He rubbed at his eyes. It was morning, now, just after dawn, but he’d barely slept. “Besides, they’ll all be at your wedding anyway.”

“ _What_?” Evan nearly shouted, and Jared shot him a glare before opening the door at the end of the long hall. “I thought—We’ve never— _You’re_ the only trade partner we’ve needed.”

“Only because we’ve done the trading for you,” Jared scoffed, but sighed when he saw the fear plastered all over Evan’s face. “Look, it’s not so bad. You just need to learn.”

“From who?” Evan asked as he rounded the table, studying the map. He looked up when Jared didn’t answer, only to find Jared’s cocky grin. “ _You?_ ”

“Not with that attitude,” Jared quipped, but took a seat at the head of the table anyway. “Yes, from me. I’ve been doing this for a few years now, and my parents have taken the training wheels off so I’ve been on my own for a while. And, well,” he motioned broadly around the room, “the castle is still standing so I’d say I’m alright at it." 

“But… why would you help?”

Jared had a myriad of excuses ready and at the tip of his tongue, but… well, he didn’t want to think about what came after the “but” and he sure as hell wasn’t going to say the truth of things. 

“No reason,” he decided with a shrug. Evan didn’t seem convinced, but Jared wasn’t going to say anything more on the subject. “Sit down, you’re making me nervous.” Evan did as he was told and scanned the map. 

“I a-already know geography, Jared,” he stated. 

“That’s a start,” Jared decided. “But there’s more to it than that.”

“Like resources?” 

“No,” Jared laughed, and his lips curled into a mischievous smile. “Like drama.”

“Jared, I don’t—”

“Just listen,” he cut in, standing to motion across the table. “Resources, wealth, all of that is basic stuff and doesn’t help anyone.” Evan narrowed his eyes, ready to protest, but Jared sighed. “Okay, it helps other people, but it doesn’t help with our jobs. Drama, all the personal relationships and alliances, _that’s_ what we want to know.”

“How do you find that stuff out?” Evan asked, finally starting to understand, and Jared grinned.

“With friends like me,” he purred. “Okay, look at the map.” He motioned to the border between the Hansen and Kleinman kingdoms. “This is the reason you’ve been kept out of the drama for so long. You’re back in the mountains and we—”

“—are our barrier,” Evan finished, nodding. 

“Right.” Jared moved his finger to the center of the Kleinman kingdom. “My kingdom, on the other hand, has been in the business of politics for a while now. Yours might be an older kingdom, but we’re right in the middle of things, so we had to learn fast.”

“Which is why your family drafted up the Treaty of the Five Kingdoms.” Evan shifted in his seat to get a better view.

“And that’s been expanded as we’ve made contact elsewhere.” Jared motioned broadly to the rest of the map. “The five original kingdoms aren’t the only players anymore, but old power like that means better leverage. You and I are part of that five, which makes us nice and lucky.” He pointed a finger to the south. “Just as powerful is the newly minted democracy they call Les Amis, founded on the ashes of the old monarchy. To the east,” he began pointing across the map to where Evan sat, “are the Hamilton and Burr kingdoms, who are constantly locked in an unofficial cold war. Just behind them is the next kingdom that joined, the Jefferson kingdom, who likes to fan the flames of the Hamilton-Burr disagreements.”

“In the north are the Bolkonsky and Kuragin kingdoms, both cold and terrible in their own special ways. Stuck between them is the small Rostova kingdom.” 

“Which one of them attacked the Murphy lands?” Evan asked.

“None, actually,” Jared shrugged. “Nomads, probably, just there to pillage and steal.” Evan frowned. “It’s a problem we’ve faced before. With as much land as we have, there are bound to be dissenters, especially in the borderlands.”

“Right,” Evan said slowly. Jared let him process. He knew it was a lot to take in, and that these were problems Evan had probably never faced before. He was lucky, Jared knew, but he also needed to learn. “Which one of them are we bringing in for help.”

“Ah, yes.” Jared motioned to the northwestern border of the Kleinman kingdom. “The kingdom we’re interested in is one of the newcomers to the treaty, the Heere kingdom. They were part of the Goranski kingdom until recently. It was an amiable split, I hear.”

“Why them?”

“Patience is a virtue,” Jared teased. “King Jeremy didn’t marry another royal or even a nobleperson. Actually,” he smirked, “Jeremy married a stablehand, Michael.”

“Really?” Evan asked, shock evident in his voice. Jared nodded.

“Apparently before King Jeremy had been a king or even a prince, he was the son of a lord in what was the Goranski kingdom, and he was apparently friends with the help.” Evan shot Jared a glare at the phrasing, but Jared kept going. “Not long before he became king, Jeremy and Michael got married. Surprisingly enough, they aren’t all that bad at running a kingdom, even though neither were raised to do it." 

“Like Connor,” Evan breathed, catching on to the plan.

“Like Connor,” Jared agreed, smiling. “If there’s any way to get into that thick head of his, it’s through these two.”

“Perfect.” A grin had grown on Evan’s lips. “Th-this might actually work.”

“Might?” Jared asked, offended. “It will.”

“We should write to them,” Evan responded, ignoring Jared. 

“Already did,” Jared answered with a proud smile.

“Jared, thank you. Thank you so much. You’re just—I can’t—” Before Jared could process what was happening, Evan was rounding the table and pulling him into a tight hug.

“Uh,” was all he could manage before Evan was letting go and rushing from the room.

Jared stood in the dim light of the war room, alone. Part of him, a very quiet and small part, felt like he would be in the spot a lot in the future. Connor and Evan would be gone, Zoe would marry Alana and they would never be in court, and he would be here, alone with his maps and his wealth and his knowledge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS MY HAND SLIPPED! ok but real talk, I love my boi jared so I had to do a lil jared perspective chapter. and HEY MORE MUSICALS!!! because this isn't a HUGE crossover fic, it'll be like a cameo for my be more chill bois but I hope you liked the whole musical kingdom setup ;) 
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> AS I'VE MENTIONED I'll be traveling in the nearish future, which means starting now, I can't guarantee regular posts. I'll do my best, BUT I probably won't be very active for a little over a month, which means at some point I'll need to set up a good hiatus moment hahaha 
> 
> OK!! WELL!! KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, AND ALL OF THAT OTHER STUFF. LOVE YA, BYEEEEEE!!


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrivals and departures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, I said I would be leaving soon and that is still true, and I've decided to start the hiatus after this chapter. Which means you've got over a month till Chapter Twenty-Four comes your way. Which will likely cause a variety of emotions, several unhappy ones likely pointed my way haaaaa
> 
> IN THE MEANTIME, we are all having fun on the discord server, playing games and sharing fan art and making headcanons and EVEN DOING A COLLABORATIVE LIL SOULMATE AU!!! so that's lots of fun and I'll be popping on and off of that during hiatus for sure <3
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> OK!! GO READ AND ENJOY!!

Evan awoke to find is room painted in creamy warm hues, sunlight streaming through the open window. A breeze shifted his curtains aside and filled the room with the crisp scent of pine. Evan let his eyes flutter shut and enjoyed the silence of nature.

“WE HAVE ARRIVED!”

The shout was the first thing he heard. His eyes flew open and a mixture of frustration and excitement caused his heart to pound in his chest. He dressed in a rush and, by the time he made it to the front courtyard, Jared was already greeting the newcomers.

“Michael! You always did know how to make an entrance,” Jared laughed as the man in question pulled him into a tight hug. “Hi, loser,” he added, out of breath and struggling, nodding to the tall man still standing near the carriage. He seemed just as awkward as Evan, one hand holding his other elbow, shifting his gaze between the ground and the welcoming party.

“Who’s this?” Michael asked, letting go of Jared, and Evan realized that he was the “who” in question.

“Uh, h-hi,” he mumbled, stepping forward just a little more.

“That’s Evan, the prince I told you about,” Jared explained, moving to shake Jeremy’s hand.

“Oh, it’s you!” Michael exclaimed, half laughing, and before Evan could think to respond, he was being pulled into the other man’s arms to be squeezed within an inch of life.

“ _Michael_ ,” Jeremy groaned, “you’re going to scare.” Michael pulled away somewhat reluctantly and studied Evan’s face.

“No, he’s not _scared_ ,” he declared over his shoulder, then smiled at Evan. “Sorry, I’m just glad to _finally_ meet you!”

“Finally?” Evan managed with a huff.

“Oh, yeah, Jared’s been writing us about you and Connor for _ages_. He’s such a—” 

“And that’s enough for the introductions!” Jared announced, clapping his hands and probably fiercely fighting to blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Don’t be _rude_ ,” Michael scolded, beckoning Jeremy to come closer.

“Hi there,” Jeremy greeted, extending a hand to shake. “Sorry about them.”

“I-I’m used to it,” Evan laughed, shaking his hand. Jeremy gave a quick smile before looking between Evan and Jared.

“Where’s Connor?” he asked.

“Oh! Yes! I can’t _wait_ to meet a real live vigilante.” Michael gave a dopey grin to Jeremy. “We were  _so_ excited to meet him. Honestly, anyone that cares as little about class differences as we do is good in our book.”

“I sent a servant to go fetch him.” Jared shrugged. “Maybe he’s a deep sleeper.” On cue, a servant rounded the corner, a look of desperation on his face. “Oh, there you are. Where’s that good-for-nothing knight?” The servant wrung his hands and looked down. 

“Gone, your highness,” he murmured.

Evan could feel his heart beat faster and faster, his mind puzzling out what that could mean. Connor couldn’t be _gone_. Connor wouldn’t _leave_. Connor wouldn’t leave _him_.

“What do you mean ‘gone?” Jared laughed, though there was something tight in his voice. “Gone?” His laughter turned sour and he stopped. “ _Gone_?”

 _Gone_ , Evan thought to himself. Realization set in, knocked the air from his lungs, set him into a spiral of panic and fear and _pain_. The servant was explaining that there had been a note, something that just said Connor was _sorry_ , and that he was gone. _Gone_. But Evan wasn’t listening anymore. Evan was crouching down in the middle of the courtyard because his knees weren’t working anymore, and there was someone rubbing small circles on his back and someone else saying it would be fine and someone saying they would find him, but all he heard was—

 _Gone_.

 

~~~

 

Connor could hear the shouting emanating from the courtyard from where he was, on the path just outside the palace gates, heading out through the city and into the weaving forest paths that he had grown so fond of in these past few years. He knew it would be Jared shouting. He knew Jared would be livid. He knew exactly how Jared react.

He knew exactly how Evan would react, too, but he didn’t want to think about that. If he thought about that he would turn around and find Evan and hold him and apologize.

 _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._ He couldn’t stop the phrase turning round and round in his mind, couldn’t be rid of the weight pushing against his rib cage, couldn’t let it go. Couldn’t let Evan go. That was no surprise, of course. When he left, it wasn’t because he thought he could ever let his feelings for Evan go. It was because he hoped Evan could let his feelings for Connor go. It was because the Hansen kingdom deserved someone _better_ to rule beside Evan. It was because _Evan_ deserved someone better.

He realized, belatedly, as he hit the end of the road, that he couldn’t heard Jared anymore. In fact, the castle was silent, not even the hint of a birdsong emanating from the palace grounds. Connor stopped and looked back. He wanted so badly to break that silence.

Instead, he let his gaze linger for a moment, sighed, and urged his horse forward. Someone else would break that silence. Someone else would find Evan. Someone else would love Evan. And Evan would love them, too.

But Connor? Connor was _gone_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~cue "Don't Wanna Fight" by Alabama Shakes~
> 
> HI!! DO YOU HATE ME??? I HATE ME!!!! WE ALL HATE ME!!!!
> 
> ok but really I apologize for the angst but like what's a good hiatus without a lil bit of angst ;) oh you still hate me? fair. hahahahaha don't worry, if you join the discord server I'm sure you'll find people who commiserate and also people to blame for this decision because at least one person has suggested a cliffhanger and multiple who spent today doing angst hcs which really got me in the mindset ;))))))))))
> 
> DISCORD LINKIE: https://discord.gg/ya8PRvB
> 
> I've said it before and I will never stop saying it, even from the afterlife I will haunt you to say it, I am so so sooooo appreciate and thankful for your continued support. you really have no idea how much it means to me and how much I have thoroughly enjoyed this experience because of you. if you all hadn't been as active and friendly as you've been, this would have ended with chapter one, but here we are 23 chapters later, with more to come <3 so thank you thank you thank you <3 <3 <3 
> 
> THAT BEING SAID, IT IS NEVER ENOUGH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA SO KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE, BOOKMARK, AND KEEP TUNED UNTIL JULY FOR MORE <3
> 
> LOVE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (and I hope the next month or so is awesome <3)


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But Connor? Connor was gone."
> 
> AKA the aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO FRIENDS!!! IT'S BEEN EXACTLY TWO MONTHS SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER WAS PUBLISHED AND I'M FINALLY GETTING BACK TO IT!!! I returned from my travels about two weeks ago, but I needed time to get back into the swing of things and get back into the characters' heads. But, wow !!! it really is so good to be back :)
> 
> I'm hoping to return to daily or near-daily updates, but we'll see how that goes with work and my summer class still going!! 
> 
> Also, before I leave you to it, don't forget to check out two painfully angsty dribbles inspired by this fic by my very good friend astrangetypeofchemistry!! they're very good and very painful and I wholeheartedly recommend them
> 
> OK!! WITHOUT FURTHER ADO: CHAPTER 24!!

Jared sat in the dining room, sipping a cup of water and looking over a map. It had been two weeks since Connor left, and Jared still hadn’t given up. He knew that Connor wouldn’t be staying in any of his usual haunts, knew that he would skip out of the city, knew that he would hide in the place he knew best: the forest. Of course, that did little to narrow down the search. Jared frowned at the red marks spread around the castle on the map, all checked and all empty.

As soon as they all realized that Connor was… _gone,_ Jared had set to work. Zoe had taken to brooding, Evan had just _shut down_ , and Alana was helping him most of the time. So, it fell to Jared to do this, and he was… well, he was doing his best. And his best wasn’t ideal because it had gotten them nowhere closer to finding Connor. Even with the help that Jeremy and Michael had brought in from their kingdom and the Goranski kingdom—a smattering of knights and rangers—little had been done. Still, it had been a welcome gesture, Jared had to admit. The Heere kingdom wasn’t very large, and he knew that they couldn’t spare much, but still, Connor was _gone_ and he was running out of options.

“Hey, Jared,” one of the Goranski knights greeted, and Jared was about to wave him off when he looked up and realized _which_ knight it was. Sir Jacob Dillinger. Jake, for short. Also, the most handsome man Jared had ever seen. He took a seat beside Jared and looked over his shoulder at the map. “Still no luck,” he commented, and it was more a statement than a question.

“No,” Jared answered anyway, the momentary happiness of seeing Jake leaving as he turned back to the map. “I’m thinking we should check the Northern foothills. There are some smaller villages scattered around there. He could be hiding with them.” He takes another sip of water before continuing. “Not to mention, that’s nearer to Goranski and Heere land, so you all might be more well equipped to search the terrain.”

“I don’t know,” Jake started in, which is—what? Since when were knights allowed to disagree with him (apart from Connor, who was _not_ on his good side right now). “I think you should go south instead,” Jake decided, reaching across the table to grab an apple. “You said he’s a ‘take from the rich, give to the poor’ type, right?” Jared nodded, willing to play along for the moment. “Well, he’d probably head for Les Amis if he’s looking for somewhere permanent to hide out. All he’d have to do is pass through the Gabor lands directly to the South—which ought to be easy considering how small the land is and the fact that they’re still mourning the king’s late husband—and then he’s there.” For emphasis, Jake tapped the map.

Jared was reluctant to say that the knight was right, which, he probably was. Of course this, compounded with the fact that Jared might have been harboring a slightly inappropriate crush on him, usually would have meant that Jared would have probably stormed off to escape the flurry of emotions. But it was Connor they were talking about, and Evan was still slightly catatonic, so he nodded instead.

“You’re right,” he admitted, standing. “Finish that apple, Jakey,” he teased, trying and failing to ignore the bright smile that spread on Jake’s lips at the nickname. “We’ve got work to do.”

 

~~~

 

It had been twenty eight days, seven hours, and twelve minutes since Connor had left him. He knew because he had counted every second of that time. He didn’t remember much of the first few hours, or even the first few days for that matter. It was all a mixture of shock and tears and sleep because he couldn’t deal with… anything. He didn’t remember eating, though Alana said that she and Michael and Jeremy had all been in to feed him.

And then there was what he could remember, even though he wished he couldn’t.

There were the dreams, more like nightmares than anything, where Connor was back and they were happy and getting married, and then he would wake up to the same ceiling, the same castle, the same emptiness. Connor was gone. And Evan knew he wasn’t coming back. Jared could search all he wanted, and Evan appreciated it, he did, but Connor had decided. He had realized that he was too good for Evan and he had run off.

No. Evan knew that that wasn’t true. He knew that the only part of him that believed that was the same part that urged him to jump out of that tree all those months back, and it was wrong. Evan was good. He knew that he was good. He reminded himself as much as he could that _he_ was _good_. The only problem with that, was that it meant that Connor had left because he couldn’t handle things, because he was afraid. And Evan was afraid for him, now that he was gone.

_Gone._

“Evan,” a voice murmured, accompanied by a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” he answered, his voice rough from disuse. He heard the door crack open and glanced over to find Zoe. He had never realized how much like Connor she looked. God, he missed Connor. All he wanted was— “Oh, h-hello, Zoe,” he said instead of finishing the thought.

“Hi,” she answered. Her voice was quiet and her eyes were downcast. Evan frowned and sat up, remembering his manners a moment too late.

“W-what’s wrong?” Evan asked, cautious. Sure, maybe she was just missing Connor and needing someone who understood, but maybe it was something worse. But what could be worse? Connor was already gone, but… What if something worse had happened? What if they had _found_ him and it was _bad_ —

“Nothing,” Zoe said quickly, taking a seat beside him on the bed and resting a hand lightly on his back. “No news yet. Don’t… Don’t worry too much about Connor, okay? He’s strong, he can take care of himself.” There was a pause and she gave a sad smile. “Just breathe.”

Evan hadn’t realized that he had stopped breathing until her comment. He let out a shaky breath, his lungs tight, and nodded. Connor was fine. Connor was _fine_. He had to be fine.

“I’m just…” Zoe began, then trailed off with a sigh. She looked down again, and her smile faded. “I’m here to apologize. Connor—he can be an idiot. He _is_ an idiot. And usually it’s not this destructive, but…” She bit her lip. “He left me behind, too, a long time ago,” she said, then looked back up at Evan in a rush. “I mean, it wasn’t nearly as… well, crappy, as what you’ve got to be going through, but… I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry, because you’re _amazing_ and you have made Connor _so_ happy and you just—you don’t _deserve_ this. What he’s doing—it’s unforgivable,” she finished in a huff.

Evan was silent, considering. Was it unforgivable? He hadn’t imagined a scenario where Connor returned, not really. It seemed far-off, just another impossible dream for him. And, besides, it was hard to imagine he would do _anything_ other than welcome him back. He was in love and, yes, Connor had made a really, _really_ terrible decision, but he couldn’t just walk away from him.

Could he?

“Anyway—” Zoe started, and Evan realized he had been silent this entire time.

“No, i-it’s okay,” he interrupted. She looked puzzled for a moment. “What I-I-I mean is, well, it’s—it’s not your fault,” Evan managed, his anxiety still tying his tongue. Zoe watched him for a long moment, her hand still on his back, as if deciding something—Evan didn’t know what. 

“Okay,” she said, finally, nodding. “Okay.” Zoe rose to her feet and looked around the room before looking back at Evan. “You shouldn’t coop yourself up in here, you know. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” 

Evan wanted to tell her that he couldn’t just walk out and pretend that everything was normal. He couldn’t sit down to breakfast with her and Alana and Jared. He couldn’t meet with Jeremy and Michael. He couldn’t _move_ , because moving meant that he was moving on, which he _wouldn’t_ , not without Connor. He wanted to tell her that he was worried about what might happen if he went back to the forest, saw the clearing where they had sat together, Connor’s laughter still echoing through woods. That he was terrified of the trees, of climbing them, of what he might do.

“Thanks, Zoe,” he said instead, managing a half-smile. She returned it, walked out, and closed the door behind her.

Evan was alone. Again. He suspected it would be a long while until he wasn’t.

 

~~~

 

The cottage was tiny—a glorified closet, really—but Connor couldn’t complain. Well, he supposed he could—the Amis were _very_ clear that he was free to do as he pleased—but he didn’t have the heart to. He felt like energy was a limited and rare resource for him these days, and to waste it on complaining about the shelter he’d been so generally gifted with (along with the promise of secrecy) felt wrong. He let out a long sigh and slumped over the table.

 _Everything_ felt wrong.

Worst of all, it was his fault. He’d left Evan, which was admittedly the most ridiculous thing that anyone had ever done in the history of the universe. He was such an idiot. He bumped his head against the table by way of punishment.

It was certainly too late to go back. Otherwise, Connor would most certainly be camped outside of Evan’s door, begging for forgiveness. But it was too late. It had been a month (thirty two days, eleven hours, and six minutes, but who was counting?). Maybe Evan would be starting to get over him. The thought pained him, but he knew it was for the best. Evan’s kingdom deserved someone who could be king, who could lead and help and be there. _Evan_ deserved someone like that, someone better.

So he would stay away. He would live in his little closet-cottage. He would live out his days in the forest. If he got restless, he’d travel around. More than enough trouble to be caused in the other kingdoms. It was the life he had been living before he met Evan, and it was a life he could return to easily enough.

Probably.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Connor didn’t have the chance to decide. A sharp knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He furrowed his brow and squinted at the shut door as thought he could see right through it. Warily, he pulled his sword from its spot across the table from him and moved as quietly as he could towards the door. If he hazarded a glance out the windows, he was sure to be seen. No, only one way to do this.

He turned the knob, ever so slowly, before whipping the door open and pushing his sword forward just enough to threaten whomever was at his door. The man looked unamused. There was a tall man at his side, a knight he may have met once or twice. Behind them, a smattering of soldiers waited.

“Time to come home,” Jared said flatly, not even sparing a glance at the sword point towards him. Connor felt his stomach drop along with his sword. He had never seen Jared this… what even was this? Sure, he could practically feel the anger directed towards him, but there was something else. Desperation? Exhaustion? Or was he just numb?

“But I’m _gone_ ,” he protested, halfheartedly, still shocked.

“Evan’s waiting,” Jared announced, eyeing Connor with quiet judgement before turning around and returning to his horse. “You’re not gone anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooOOOOOOO I mean... I couldn't just immediately resolve it, y'know?? I mean, sure, this doesn't mean I've earned back your love and devotion as the writer of this fic because my children are still suffering, as are my readers, but, well, I COULDN'T JUST IMMEDIATELY RESOLVE IT!!!! Never fear: the resolution is on its way, little by little. I PROMISE. 
> 
> (also I did you catch the budding romance between Jake and jared? oh yeah, that is my new rarepair and yoU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR I'LL BE TRANSPLANTING IT INTO THIS FIC)
> 
> and, well, I have to say it again: I appreciate all of you so much, you really have no idea. I am so so soooo happy that there are as many active followers of this fic as there are and I'm really excited to keep going and eventually finish this fic out with all of you along for the ride. so, from the bottom of my heart, thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!! thanks <3
> 
> ok!!! that's it for now!!! like, comment, share, bookmark, subscribe, all that fun stuff!! I'll see you next chapter!!!!! <3


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens in the woods...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY KIDDOS!! here's the next chapter!! it's not super long and it's all from Jake's POV, but it's a little break in the angst before we get to Connor's return home!!! 
> 
> and it most DEFINITELY has my fav rarepair ;))))
> 
> ENJOY!!!! <3

Jake was acutely aware of the silence plaguing the campfire. It had taken a few hours to finally get on the road once they had found the rogue knight—lots of arguing, then, and not a single drop of silence—and after another few hours, night had fallen. All the other soldiers—they had brought way too many, but the prince was adamant about having a small army, just in case Connor tried escaping again—were scattered across the wooded area, but Jake had the privilege—and misfortune—of being stuck between Prince Jared and Sir Connor.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be around the pair of them, really. Jake had heard stories about Connor, the mysterious knight-turned-rogue who gave his earnings to the poor, and he had been eager to meet him. That was a huge part of why he had practically _begged_ Rich to be the head of this whole effort, in conjunction with Jared. From there, though, his dedication had shifted from finding the legendary knight to pleasing the prince who had thrown himself so far into the work, he almost hadn’t noticed Jake’s budding crush. He had had a lot of time with Jared over the past weeks, but, well, both of them were focused so intently on finding Connor that they had barely spoken about anything else. And now that they had found Connor, Jared didn’t really seem to be in the mood for anything other than a fight.

He blinked and looked around. He had been staring into the fire for too long, so long that his eyes had watered, and the imprint of light was still there when he turned away. Still, Jared and Connor were scowling at each other.

“Well,” Jake began, sensing he would have a much better night in the privacy of his own tent, “I’m—”

“Here’s what I don’t understand,” Jared said instead, his eyes still locked on Connor’s, apparently not hearing Jake at all. With a quiet sigh, Jake settled in for what would likely be a _very_ awkward evening. “If you _really_ loved Evan, you _wouldn’t_ have just left.”

“I was _doing_ it because his kingdom deserved a better king, _he_ deserved a better partner,” Connor argued, his voice already raised. Jake winced.

“ _Bullshit_ ,” Jared spat with a bitter laugh. “You were _scared_. You didn’t let Evan make that decision for himself. You didn’t _trust_ that he could choose someone good for him and his kingdom. _You_ thought _your_ judgement was better.”

“No!” Connor shouted, his fist hitting the dirt beside him, but a flicker of doubt crossed his features. Jake frowned. He could tell that Connor loved Evan, and he knew that Connor thought it was for the best that he left. It clearly wasn’t for the best—he had been witness to Evan’s suffering and Connor seemed just as bad off—but Connor couldn’t have known. “No,” Connor repeated halfheartedly, thoroughly unconvinced by his own words. 

“Yeah,” Jared nodded, though he didn’t look smug. Instead, he looked just as in despair. “You’re not going to be able to mosey back in and have everything go back to normal, you know. Evan…. I’ve never _seen_ Evan like this. He’s barely spoken a word and he hasn’t left his room since you left.” 

“I never meant for this to happen,” Connor murmured, his eyes dropping to the fire. “It was all supposed to be to _help_ Evan, not hurt him. He doesn’t deserve this.” 

“No, he doesn’t,” Jared agreed, studying Connor.

“He doesn’t deserve _me_ ,” Connor mumbled, so quiet it was difficult to hear over the crackle of the fire.

“Now that’s where you’re wrong,” Jared decided. Both Jake and Connor looked at him in confusion, and looked between them, shocked. “What? It isn’t true.” He looked to Connor with sincerity in his eyes. “Look, you can be a real idiot sometimes, and you can do _stupid_ things that are actually _really_ hurtful to _everyone_ around you, but you’re a good person. You _are_. You annoy the _hell_ out of me, but you’ve devoted every second of your life to helping others and being the best friend and partner you can be. Evan and Alana and Zoe and, hell, even _me_ —we’re lucky to be the people you want to spend your life with. You and Evan deserve each other and all the love you have to share. Okay? So, no more running off and no more thinking any less of yourself. Got it?”

For a long moment, only the sounds of the fire and the forest surrounded them. Jake was floored by what he had just heard. The prince had always been cocky and arrogant, thought Jake knew he’d sensed more beneath the surface. He just hadn’t expected it to bubble forth in quite this manner. A quick glance at Connor revealed that the knight was just as shocked as he was. Connor swallowed, then nodded, slowly at first, as though he was considering, then quicker. 

“Got it,” he finally managed, his voice thick with emotion.

“Good.” Jared gave a quick nod and got to his feet. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need my beauty rest.”

“I’ll walk you to your tent,” Jake announced, more reflexively than anything else, getting to his feet. He spared a glance at Connor. “I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Night,” Connor murmured, eyes already back down to the fire. Jake gave him one last lingering look before following Jared, who glanced over at him occasionally on the walk to his tent.

“Thank you for finding him,” Jared said quietly after a moment. Jake looked at him and smiled.

“Of course, Your Highness.” He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to cross a line, but ultimately decided that this entire night had crossed several lines. “Though perhaps I would have taken longer, if I was a smart man.” Even in the dim light the fire cast, Jake could see Jared’s cheeks brighten. 

“Well, you’re not free yet,” Jared answered, though his tone wasn’t as commanding as usual. “There will be celebrations that you’ll need to be a part of. You’ll be needed for a while to make sure Connor doesn’t run off again. Might as well just stay until the wedding.” His tone was a forced casual that had Jake smirking.

“As you wish, Your Highness.” He was pretty sure Rich would be _too_ mad if he just stayed for… well, he’d decide eventually how long he’d be staying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THAT WAS A LITTLE BREAK!!! I mean, there was a pinch of tension, but nothing too bad, right??? WELL get ready for the angst of next chapter, cause Jared isn't the only one ready to tear Connor a new one
> 
> IN THE MEANTIME, I want to give another thank you for your continued support!!! every comment encourages me forward, so keep going!!! <3
> 
> OK!! LOVE Y'ALL!! KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, ALL THAT STUFF!!! SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER!!!!


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back!

Connor didn’t know what he had been expecting, but the castle was exactly as he remembered. Just as quiet, just as peaceful, and just as full of memories of Evan.

And just as full of Evan, Connor supposed.

“Don’t worry. Just don’t do anything stupid,” Jared commented, before adding, “ _again_.”

Connor hadn’t realized he was looking worried, but the pounding of his heart in his chest had been there since Jared first showed up at his doorstep. Every step closer to the palace was ratcheted his heartrate higher and higher. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Evan. He would probably  _kill_ to see Evan at this point. God, he had spent every moment of every day gone (thirty nine days, eight hours, and sixteen minutes—not that it mattered) just thinking about Evan, wishing he could see Evan, wishing he had never left, wishing he could just go back. So he was more than ready to see Evan again.

He just didn’t know if Evan would want to see him.

“It’ll be fine, man,” Jake assured, and Connor shot a half-smile his way. Jake seemed like he understood, on a certain level. The other soldiers had looked down or laughed at him when they thought he wasn’t looking and listening, but Jake never did. Connor wanted to say it was because they were both knights, they both had codes and honor, but he suspected it was more than that. Jake seemed to genuinely understand the stress of it, even if he didn’t say much to Connor, and for that, Connor was thankful. Though he had to admit that seeing the quiet flirtation between Jake and Jared pulled at something in him, made him wonder how he and Evan had drifted so far from those first easy days. 

He wanted to think that maybe they could get back to that, start fresh, but it felt like just another fantasy. This wasn’t a fantasy, he had to remind himself. This was reality.

 

~~~

 

Evan was in his room—of course he was in his room, where else would he have been?—when Alana came rushing in, out of breath and sweating.

“A—Have you been r-running?” he asked, sitting up in bed. He waited as she gulped several long breaths down, urgency in her eyes and features.

“He’s here,” she managed, finally, and Evan laughed a little because, well, that just wasn’t possible.

“Th-that’s not p-possible,” he said aloud. Alana shook her head and stepped forward, her hands firm on his shoulders.

“Evan. He’s here,” she repeated, and there wasn’t the hint of a joke in her voice. “Connor’s here.”

Evan was pretty sure his heart stopped in his chest. This wasn’t possible. This was just another dream. Connor _couldn’t_ be back, Connor had decided he wasn’t going to come back, Connor had walked away from the life he could have had with Evan and that was that, he was _gone_ , there was no coming _back_.

Still, Evan let himself be led out of his room, hair and clothes still rumpled, and towards the courtyard out front. If this was a dream, he was going to enjoy it. It felt so real. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe this would be the last dream. Maybe this was his last goodbye and then it would all be over and Evan would—

“Evan,” a familiar voice breathed, and there was Connor. His face was dirty, his clothes much worse, but it was undeniably him. He stood there, his mouth open a sliver, staring at Evan as though he would vanish if he looked away. They stayed like that, staring, for what felt like decades. Time melted away. Evan was sure, now, that this was a dream. He didn’t want to speak or move or breathe because he was sure that Connor would disappear.

“HEY, YOU!”

Whoever that was apparently did not seem to agree with Evan’s line of thought. Connor’s eyes flicked to something just behind Evan, and Evan didn’t even have the time to turn around before Zoe was flying at Connor. For a moment, he thought she was going to punch him. Instead, she pulled him into her arms, tight enough that he gave Evan a pained smile, all the air pushed out of his lungs. And then she was pulling away, giving Connor just enough time to open his mouth before she beat him to the punch.

“What the actual _hell_ , Connor?” she shouted, and this was clearly a rhetorical question. “What in that stupid head of yours made you think leaving would be a good idea? What did you think—me and Evan and the gang would just shrug and go about our lives? Just forget about you? I’ll have you know, you’re too annoying to forget! What if you had gotten hurt? What if you had _died_? Huh? We’d just have to go on not knowing? How is that fair? How is that fair, Connor? _How_?” It was then that Evan realized Zoe was crying, her anger colored with desperation.

“I’m sorry, Zoe,” Connor murmured, slowly pulling her back into his arms, slow enough that she could pull away. She let herself be held for a moment before elbowing away, her expression dejected. 

“It’s not okay,” she spat, leaving as soon as she’d come. Connor watched her go and Evan watched Connor.

Evan realized, then, that this was not a dream.

“Connor,” he mumbled, feeling as though he couldn’t breathe anymore because Connor was _here_ , in front of him. Connor wasn’t gone anymore. Evan wanted to pull him tight, to hold him for hours, to make sure he never left again, to hear about everything that happened. Or, rather, Evan wanted to want that. Instead, he wanted to go back to his room. He didn’t want to talk to Connor, he didn’t even want to see Connor.

Because if Connor thought he could leave and return so easily, what did that say about how he saw Evan?

“Evan, I’m so sorry,” Connor said, as though he could hear Evan’s thoughts. Maybe he could. Evan didn’t really care. He squinted at Connor, waiting to feel some semblance of joy. Waiting for relief. Waiting for happiness. Waiting for excitement. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

When that didn’t happen, he turned around, returned to his room, and locked the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS MY HAND SLIPPED, ENJOY THE ANGST
> 
> KUDOS, COMMENT, SHARE, ALL THAT JAZZ!! <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [In Heartbreak](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14842028) by [astrangetypeofchemistry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangetypeofchemistry/pseuds/astrangetypeofchemistry)
  * [in the absence i should've grown used to](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15546645) by [astrangetypeofchemistry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangetypeofchemistry/pseuds/astrangetypeofchemistry)




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